The Girl With Skinny Arms

A Story of the Older White Man and his Young Asian Wife

2012-01-20T22:59:00.001+08:00

[Disclaimer: too long, don’t read] The other night, Joe and I went out drinking. We were minding our own business when the people at the table next to us decided to say hello. The guy who said hello is a 65 year old French guy (let’s call him Francois lol) and he was with 3 young people. Seated beside Francois was a beautiful young Filipina woman, his young wife (who I learned later on is only 18).

They are newlyweds (they just got married last November, when he was 64 and she 17). Joe and I looked at each other when we found out their age.

Francois then decided to tell my boyfriend that he is lucky that he is dating a Filipina girl. He was like,

“Filipinas, they make the best wives! You’re lucky, Joe. Don’t let go of your girlfriend.”

I smiled. I felt flattered. But then he added,

“They cook for you, do whatever you want, they don’t talk much, they’re screamers (*wink wink nudge nudge*)… just feed them money and they’re at your beck and call. They’re just the best!”

I raised my eyebrows and was like “Excuse me?” Francoise further stated,

“I’ve been with so many women before, I don’t like European girls, they’re too stuck up. American girls, they don’t like my accent. I like Asian girls. I’ve been with Thai girls, Vietnamese girls, Cambodian girls… but I like the Filipinas the best. You just give them money and give their parents money and she’s yours forever. If she doesn’t do what you want, just threaten to leave her and she’ll be on her knees begging for forgiveness. I love it! They’re so submissive!”

At this point I was like “Oh no you didn’t” but I didn’t show it. I just kept my cool and poise. Joe just kept looking at me trying to tell me “control yourself” with his eyes.

He was generalizing young Asian women as dependent on rich, older white men. I was fuming inside. I have nothing against May-December relationships. I just didn’t like what Francois said about money and “just threaten her that you’ll leave her and she’ll submit to you.” He was being a douchebag. So Joe was like,

“If I threaten her that I’ll leave her, Dimple will be like, ‘good riddance!’ Hahaha! She can have any man she wants and she can find one in a snap. But for me, I only got lucky with her. I don’t even know what she sees in me. But I’m happy with her. We’re both very happy with each other.”

And those words assured me that I really hit the jackpot with my Joe.

Then his wife said, “I’m so surprised your age is so close together! Most Filipinas I know who date white men are much much younger than their boyfriends.” She then asked me, “Does he [Joe] support you financially?” I was like, “No. We each have our own source of income. He never gives me money. I don’t allow him to.”

Then Joe said,

“I really am lucky to have my girlfriend,” (Francois nodded in agreement.) “She’s smarter than me, she graduated from the best university in the country, she doesn’t ask money from me coz she’s actually richer than me, she’s the one with the corner office. I’m unemployed right now, I’m just finishing school. She’s independent and she’s the most intelligent woman I know.”

He held my hand and squeezed it and I smiled at my boyfriend. He showed the French guy that not all Filipinas are dependent and money-hungry gold-diggers. The look on Francois’ face showed that look of yeah-you’re-lucky-she-doesn’t-ask-money-from-you-poor-me.

If his wife is happy cuddling with her douchey husband’s wrinkly naked skin in bed, then good for her. At least she’s happy. I’m happy, she’s happy, everyone’s happy, end of story.

Birthday Weekend!

2012-01-09T20:52:00.003+08:00

So last Saturday was my 25th birthday.

I didn’t throw a party because I didn’t really feel like it. I just watched a movie with my family and went to have dinner with Joe. I tagged my two sisters along because Joe told me he was gonna take me out for steak at my favorite restaurant and I know how much my sisters love steak so I asked Joe if I could bring my sisters along with me and he said “the more, the merrier!” Also, my little sister Dana has been mending a broken heart lately and I figured she needed the company.

When we got to the restaurant, Joe was there waiting for us and he had flowers for me! He knows I LOVE receiving flowers and he’s not the romantic type of guy who would give his girlfriend flowers, but he did! He’s so cute hahaha!

Flowers from my BoyToy!

After our delicious steak dinner, we headed off to Bugsy’s to grab my favorite White Russian and drank the night away with my sisters.

At the end of the night, he pulled me in and whispered, “I am so lucky to have you.” I asked him why. He said, “It’s your 25th birthday. Your quarter-life. It’s a big deal. It was supposed to be our ‘alone time’. But instead, you invited your sisters (especially Dana) along tonight because you didn’t want her to be lonely. And I think that’s very self-less of you. And I love it. I’m so lucky to have you.” And then he kissed me and told me he loves me.

It was a simple birthday celebration, sitting at the bar, drinking cocktails with my boyfriend and my sisters. But what made it awesome was me spending it with the people I love. :)

Shoulder to Cry On

2012-01-06T22:33:00.001+08:00

My sister has been pretty much an emotional wreck lately. Hers is a story I am all too familiar with. She was in a long distance thing with him, then he flew here to spend the holidays with us and then he left and then he got all cold and distant and now it’s all turning into shizz.

It’s almost (but not quite, for some other major reasons) the exact same thing I went through with Seton back in 2010. Long distance relationshit(?) turned sour. Sigh. I know what my sister is going through. That’s why I’m here for her.

Moving on is hard, but it’s possible. Just take it one day at a time. Even Joe is in on this whole console-the-little-sister operation. He invited my sister out for drinks to make her feel better and less alone and he asked her to help him make snicker-doodles at his place. So sweet of him.

Sigh. Breakups are never easy. It’s sad seeing my sister this way. But it’s one of those things that you have to go through in life…

Near Death Experience 97ft Underwater

2012-01-02T20:00:00.003+08:00

So yes. I almost died during our trip! Here’s the story.

Joe and I went wreck diving on December 30 with three French divers, one American, and our Italian dive master. We did a boat entry (meaning we entered the water backwards from the boat) and I immediately felt that something was off with my regulator (the thing that gives me oxygen underwater). I didn’t mind it and I continued to our rendezvous point in the surface.

Once we submerged underwater, I instantly felt this really strong current and I gripped the mooring so it wouldn’t carry me away. We went down 10 ft… 30 ft… 60 ft… 80 ft… 90 ft… At this point, I felt that I could taste salt water. Every time I inhaled, I got these little bits of water in my mouth and I figured my regulator was leaking a little bit. But still, I didn’t mind it.

We went down 97 feet and reached the shipwreck. It was a little dark coz the sunlight couldn’t reach all the way that deep. But there was still enough light for me to see the shipwreck and the huge fishes that swum around it. Then I took a deep breath.

But instead of air, I felt water in my mouth.

I felt like choking and I was drowning. I reached for my emergency/secondary regulator but it was all tangled up in my BCD (the jacket that holds the oxygen tank) and I couldn’t get it off. So I swum to our dive master and signaled that there was something wrong with my regulator and that I needed to breathe in his emergency regulator. At first he didn’t understand my signals. He thought that I was pointing to him that there was something wrong with his regulator. I had no choice but to just pull it off from his BCD and breathe through it. AAAAH! OXYGEN AT LAST!

He finally realized that there was something wrong with my emergency regulator so he untangled it and once I was okay and not in a panicky mode, I switched to my own regulator. It was so scary. To think I almost filled my lungs with saltwater at almost 100 feet underwater. I think I had nitrogen narcosis for being down there that deep, which made me panic a bit.

Once I regained my composure, I took a deep breathe of oxygen, signaled that I am okay again, and then went back to wreck diving. After about 28 minutes underwater, we went back up to the surface and had lunch and had a happy time. lol

Holiday Week

2012-01-02T19:58:00.003+08:00

First of all, since I haven't been online for about... ages now, and missed out on all the greetings, here’s to all of you (even though it’s a bit late hehe): Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

So I’ve been gone for a while and I missed blogging! I have a lot to update you on so here goes!

We just spent Christmas at home. We didn’t travel somewhere this year. This is the first time in three years that we celebrated Christmas at our house. It was a happy time for me because I got to celebrate it with Joe. :) It was a couple-filled night because my cousins celebrated it with us with their significant others, and my sisters and their boyfriends were there too. I love Christmas!

Right after Christmas, Joe and I immediately traveled to Puerto Galera in Mindoro Island for our planned diving trip. It was mostly because I was gonna take my advance diving course (which I am now certified at!) The beach was very beautiful! It was very relaxing and the hotel staff was really nice. We were there for 5 days and I wish we stayed longer. I also really really liked my dive instructor, this Italian dude named Ermanno. He’s so cool!

I also had a near-death experience 97 feet underwater! But I’ll write about it more and in detail in a different post. :)

For New Year’s Eve, I didn’t get to spend it with Joe, hence I didn’t get my New Years Kiss. :( He wanted to spend it with me, but I didn’t want his mother to be alone on New Years so I just told him to spend it with his mom. She couldn’t spend it with us either because we all party so late and she’s too old to handle that. Nevertheless, Joe and I spent New Years Day together.

We had fireworks and everything and it was all so fun until we heard people screaming and we saw this huge blaze just behind our house. We checked it out and our neighbor’s house was on fire!

It was caused by the fireworks. There were 5 explosions because the house was filled with paint and propane tanks. It was so scary! Luckily, the firemen arrived just in time to put the fire out.

Well, that’s about it. :) I hope ya’ll had an awesome New Years as well!

Making a Difference

2011-12-13T23:44:00.001+08:00

My 25th birthday is in three weeks and I realized that I don’t want to spend it partying with my friends. Instead, I want do something meaningful…

So I called up Sister Adeline from the Camillian Sisters Nursing Home and told her that I want to spend time with the elderly on my birthday and that I want to give them food and a little party and give a small donation as well. Needless to say, she was very very happy about it.

I cannot wait for my 25th birthday. Instead of clubbing and drinking cocktails, I’m spending my birthday money with the nuns and the elderly at the home. I really want to make a difference. Sister Adeline said that my party will be such a special gift, especially for those who were abandoned by their families and those who don’t have much time left to live anymore.

At least, I’m gonna make them smile. <3

Shameful LOL Moment

2011-12-07T16:55:00.001+08:00

Last night, at around 11pm, Joe went to visit me at work and then invited me to have a late dinner. I had dinner with him and then I went back to work after an hour. He texted me at around 1am saying that he was at Distillery, waiting for me, and that he had already ordered me a bottle of Strongbow.

I told him I’ll just pack up, go home, change into normal clothes, and then go meet him. Distillery is our favorite hole in the wall bar and it’s just two minutes away from my office and just 5 steps away from where I live. As soon as I got home, I immediately changed into shorts and flipflops.

After about half an hour, I got a text from Joe, “Where have you run off to? Distillery is just right below your place.” I replied with an “I’ll be right there” and hurried off.

When I got to the bar, Joe was waiting for me, talking to the bartender, looking pissed because I let him wait for so long. I kissed him and then he said, “What took you so long? It usually takes you just a couple minutes to get dressed and come meet me. Now it’s almost 2am!”

Yes, I was looking for a safety pin because my shorts don’t fit me anymore!!! Waaaah! I have gained so much weight on my midsection and hips, it’s not even funny!!! I was just wearing an oversized shirt so it could hide my open fly. Now I’m scared I won’t fit into my wetsuit for when we go diving in two weeks… :(

Green-Eyed Monster

2011-12-06T19:27:00.001+08:00

Most of my corporate wear are still in the laundry so I didn’t have any more business clothes to wear to work. All I have left that are clean are my clubbing clothes (which I don’t use that much since my kill-joy boyfriend hates clubbing).

I picked up this black mini dress and just put on a blazer over it so it would look more business casual than party chic.

As soon as I got to work, I immediately got stares. As most of you already know, I can be a bit of an attention-whore, but the stares I got today made me a little bit uncomfortable. Probably because I’m not used to wearing something this short to work… but I have no choice. I immediately went to my workstation and I didn’t plan on getting up (so I could avoid the stares).

Buuut, a few minutes after arriving, I received an email about an emergency meeting. I immediately dreaded it. I went to the meeting, pulling down my skirt to make it longer and less attention-grabbing. My efforts were in vain.

I saw one of the girls in the meeting looking at me from head to toe. I instantly feel like she had bad vibes on me, most probably because of my dress. I looked at her looking at me. She looked like she had something smelly right under her nostrils because her face showed that look. That look of… jealousy! Hahaha! I’m assuming it was jealousy.

Yeah, because she couldn’t pull of this look. Ever. She doesn’t have the legs to do it. lol so mean. Well, I don’t appreciate being given mean looks because of something I’m wearing.

I went to the meeting, paid attention, and left when it was over. But before leaving, I took one last look at her. She was still looking at me from head to toe with that “i have something smelly right under my nose” look. I smiled. A triumphant smile. A smile that said “Yeah, I just wore this to work. So what? And I’m gonna work it.” And then I left.

Name Dropping is a Form of Social Climbing

2011-12-06T19:24:00.001+08:00

The other night, Joe and I were drinking at our favorite bar and we saw the usual drunks out there. There was this one guy in particular who Joe has become very fond of (probably because they’re both alcoholics lol jk). I used to like him before because he seemed like a cool guy. But last night, I came to the conclusion that he was a bit of a social climber.

The man wouldn’t stop name-dropping. For real. He kept mentioning names of some famous people that he was able to rub elbows with and usually parties with. He was talking to us about Joe’s plans of opening up a bar with his best friend Carmine and that if Joe wants the business to become successful, he needs networks. Which is true.

But then he just started talking about his experience in the business, etc, and everything. He was partying with this and went to this place with that, etc etc, that’s why he has a star-studded network, he said. He even bragged about buying a round of tequila for a whole club one night which cost him $5000 in one night. Ugh. Brag much?

Ugh. I don’t know. I don’t like name-droppers and I don’t like social climbers. Joe, I think, was oblivious to all this. Bless his humble heart, he was just there, smiling as he drank his vodka. I couldn’t take it anymore so I excused myself for a bit and walked the dog.

I can smell Christmas already!

2011-12-06T19:20:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday, I went to my team’s Christmas party. On Sunday, I went to IBM’s 100th Year-End party. Next Saturday, I’m going to my IBM Communications Team’s Christmas party. Next Sunday, I’m going to my department’s Christmas party.

Christmas parties everywhere!

It dawned on me just now that Christmas is really just around the corner. After Christmas, I’m going to my diving trip with the boyfriend and then going to a New Year’s eve party at MOA. Waaah! Time flies by so fast. Next month is already 2012 and I’m turning 25 in 4 weeks! Ohmygahd!

It’s funny that last year I was all depressed at this time of the year and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. :) I deserve a pat on the back for keeping a positive outlook this year.

Insulting Song

2011-12-06T19:19:00.001+08:00

My boyfriend and I are complete opposites. He hates some of the things I really enjoy doing. With a passion. These include: clubbing, karaoke, eating fried fish, etc. However, our differences make our relationship work. For us, we go by the saying “opposites attract”.

Last Saturday, I went to a karaoke party with my team mates at work. I told him I wanted him to come with. He went with me and didn’t say anything. He hates going to karaoke bars but he knows it makes me happy when he’s with me so he went anyway (such a sweet, compromising boyfriend).

He was a good sport. He even sang a few songs. But there was this one song that he said “vaguely insulted” him. I sang Katy Perry’s “Thinking of You” and he asked why I sang that song. I told him it’s because it was a beautiful song. He said he didn’t like its message (“He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth… when I’m with him I am thinking of you…”) lol! So sensitive.

He got a little bit upset, but I laughed it off. At least I know he really does care about me for him to feel jealous because of a song.

I Miss My Dog

2011-11-17T20:33:00.001+08:00

Ever since I moved out of my parents’ place, I’ve been missing my dog so bad I feel like I’ve been having pet withdrawals. I was so used to her waking me up in the morning (her licking my face) that now, I find myself touching my face everyday when I wake up (because I always used to wipe off her drool). I miss her! :( You all know how much I love her. I posted about her last year and even made her very own twitter account lol. Yes, I love her THAT much!

I just miss her so much. I miss her greeting me everyday when I get home from work. I miss her licking me face in the morning. I miss her!!! She’s with my sisters now so I know she’s in good hands. And I get to see her every weekend anyways.

It’s just that today is a particularly difficult day for me for some reason. She is my best friend.

What if?

2011-11-17T20:31:00.001+08:00

Do you ever wonder that you probably made wrong decisions in life that changed the course of your life?

I was watching a show on the Bio channel about making the film Saturday Night Fever. They were talking about producing and looking for the actor (eventually John Travolta) and then making the movie itself. I thought, “what if I ventured into filmmaking?” Like, what if it was what I was meant to do? What if all those four years I spent in college studying sociology were useless?

Joe and I were talking about it one day and he said that he learned how to destroy and blow things up in the military. But now that he’s out, all those skills he acquired are useless. So now he’s back in school studying Computer Science.

Sometimes I really think I was meant to do other things. Like I’m meant to write, or make movies, or design clothes… Being a teacher is fun. And I’m good at it. But ultimately, I would rather be doing something else.

I realize now that it’s very important to think about what you really wanna be in the future. I was still unsure after highschool so I made the wrong choice in picking my college major. I can’t go back. So I gotta live with these decisions I made…

Out and In

2011-11-08T18:05:00.000+08:00

So I just moved out of the family nest last Saturday and moved into my new place. I asked Joe to help me out with the moving but my family went along because they wanted to spend one last time with me before I was officially out of their hair. It was tiring and my mom cried (lol). Eh, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve moved out.

Yesterday I went to Joe’s place. I played with his dog Scoot Scoot and went swimming. I also bonded with his mom. I cooked egg rolls with her and she said it was delish! She actually asked me when I’m going to move in with Joe…

Speaking of that, the time is getting closer and closer. Joe’s lease will end in February and he wants me to move in with him at his (our) new place in Eastwood. He’s excited too. As am I. The problem is, I just don’t know how to tell it to my parents. I have three months. I’m thinking maybe I’ll tell them on my birthday? That way they won’t get mad at me, coz it’s my birthday lol. I told them about it once, they thought I was joking so they didn’t take it seriously and I never bothered to ask again. I’m so nervous!

Anyway, I feel really happy being independent again. Buuuut, yeah, I kinda miss the fam bam. Especially my dog Helen. I reaaaally miss her. Playing with my boyfriend's dog Scooter is fun, but I really miss my Helen girl lol.

The Monster Dog

2011-10-31T21:42:00.003+08:00

Joe met me for lunch at work today and he brought Scooter with him. As soon as the beagle saw me, she jumped at me as if to greet me, “Mommeee!” I hugged her and rubbed her belly.

We went to Agave and ordered buffalo wings and bottomless margarita. The waitress walked up to us, but she didn’t see Scooter. Naturally, the playful Scooter jumped at the waitress asking her to play. As soon as the waitress saw the dog, she made a step back. Then Scooter barked at her, and the waitress let out a little shriek, but she faked a smile because she’s still waiting on our table and she had to do her job. She had a fake smile, almost like she’s scared but she’s smiling while watching out if the dog might pounce on her lol. I reassured her that Scooter’s a sweet puppy. Joe even got up, picked up Scooter, and asked the waitress to pet her. She did so but she had that scared smile on her face again. Haha! Poor girl.

I don’t understand it. How can she be scared of Scoot Scoot? She’s not a rabid animal and she’s actually adorable. It’s just funny, seeing the look on the poor waitress’ face. lol

The Taxi Driver

2011-10-27T22:43:00.002+08:00

I got into a cab on the way to work.

“To Eastwood, please.”

The driver wore a tight shirt. I could see his ripped bicep hold the stick and we sped away. I couldn't help but look at this man. This macho taxi driver. He looked tall, dark, and handsome. He could be a model, I thought. Then he opened his mouth.

“Ugh, this traffic’s so terrible! And the heat is so ruining my hair.”

He said this in the gayest voice possible. It was the first time I’ve ever encountered a gay taxi driver here. He was the cutest man ever. We ended up talking about the traffic, the radio station, and how good my hair looks. Turns out he’s a hairdresser and sidelines as a cab driver.

He and I became friends for 20 minutes. Until I reached Eastwood and bid him goodbye.

Hot for Teacher

2011-10-27T22:39:00.001+08:00

Yeah, every time I hear that Van Halen song, I instantly think about Joe. I went to the IT department today and I heard one of the IT guys blasting it on his iPhone and it instantly reminded me of my boyfriend.

Joe used to be a trainer for the military. I am a trainer in the corporate world. We are both teachers in a way and we have this inside joke that we’re both “hot for teacher”.

Everyday, I learn something new. Joe gives me random trivia all the time and they’re really informative. I learn a lot from him. He says the same about me. I love having a smart and intelligent boyfriend who’s like a walking Wikipedia. Sometimes he can be a know-it-all, but it's cute and that’s just how he is. And I like it. We talk about a lot of stuff all the time which leads me to say, “Really? I didn’t know that,” like 60% of the time. He really is a smart one. We talk about intelligent stuff like stocks, accountancy (lol), current events in the Middle East, astronomy, and even computer science. We’re such nerds! Haha!

Sometimes I look at him and think to myself that he might be a little too smart for me (I always want to one-up all my boyfriends and be slightly better than them, yes I am a feminist). But this time, I kinda enjoy being the less smart one in the relationship. I guess I really am hot for teacher. =)

Random Realization

2011-10-27T22:36:00.004+08:00

Just finished watching The Hurt Locker a while ago. In the ending scene, the guy confessed that the mundane activities of a civilian life bores him to death. At the close of the film, he is seen starting another tour of duty serving with Delta company of an EOD unit as they are just starting their 365 day rotation.

There are actually some guys (military) out there who yearn for action, for war, for the adrenaline rush. Joe talked to me the other day about the possibility of him going back to the service.

I find it mind-boggling why he wants to go back. The thought of him going back is scary and I don’t wanna lose him. But the reality is that there really are some guys who would really rather go back because they just love it. Simple as that.

MBA

2011-10-13T16:53:00.001+08:00

So I've finally decided to get an MBA early next year after much pushing from my mom and my boyfriend. They really want me to go for it. Joe even said that after getting my MBA, I should immediately follow it up with a Ph.D so that we can be the "power couple". LOL

I have the grades to support my application. I have awesome bosses and former professors who can give me my letters of recommendation. But the thing is, I honestly lack confidence in myself.

Can I do it? They say yes, I say I'm not sure. I'm scared. Having an MBA will definitely help me in the long run. It'll be great for my resume and for my career. Having an MBA (and hopefully a Ph.D) before I turn 30 would be awesome. It's a good thing, really.

I just don't know why I'm so scared.

Online Dating

2011-09-28T17:45:00.001+08:00

I rarely post mushy stuff in this blog anymore, as you may have noticed. My boyfriend knows this blog (and I think he reads it sometimes, I dunno, lol) and he might find it weird if I write and gush about him all the time lol. Today, however, I decided to write one. Some of you might not know this but I met my boyfriend online about 8 months ago. A couple weeks ago, he and I were out with my sisters and we were talking about dating.

My sister Dana is currently single. BF and I encouraged her to try online dating, but my sister was a bit skeptical. We told her it actually works (*ahem* bf and I are proof to that *ahem*) and that it’s fun going through the selection process. More importantly, online dating puts people together that actually want to meet other people. I was a bit skeptical about trying online dating at first too, but ya'll know I'm a hopeless romantic and I really wanted to find someone to call mine. I really didn't like being single and feeling lonely. The problem was, I was (and still am) too much of a workaholic. I was always busy at work or training for touch rugby. I never had the time to go out and socialize and meet new people in the real world. So what did I do? I tried looking for love online. And surprise, surprise! It actually works, ya'll!

My boyfriend then proceeded to tell my sister that, yes, online dating may sometimes be superficial and objective because people only tend talk to those who look good in their profiles, or put good/sexy pictures, or a profile that catches their eyes. But in our case, he said he initially sent me a message because he thought my pictures were “real”. In my online profile, I didn't put sexy or seductive pictures. I put pictures of me making silly faces, doing wacky poses, pictures of me being all muddy by playing rugby, and all that other stuff. He said my online profile wasn't desperate to find someone but rather real and just enjoying life waiting for someone to say hi.

A few emails back and forth later, we met up for lunch (yes, our first date was a lunch date!). A few months into into dating, the words “I love you” were exchanged and then the rest, as they say, is history. <3 The bottom line is, you can find love online. You just have to be patient. And trial and error applies here. My online dating experience was fun. I met a few crazies and wackos, but generally it was a fun experience. And ending up and being with my boyfriend (who I love so much) is proving to be such a great adventure.

Right Brain and Left Brain

2011-09-28T17:14:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing what I do. My job requires me to use my left brain. On a daily basis I am required to think about models, frameworks, numbers, designing logical structures for training, looking at things objectively.

I am, and always has been, a right brain thinker. Sometimes I ask myself why I am in this career that requires me to use my left brain.

I would much rather be out there using my right brain: being free and intuitive, exploring all creative possibilities, looking at things subjectively... Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right life decisions. And I often wonder if it's too late to start doing what I really want to do.

Why? It's always a question I ask myself. Why the fuck did I end up in box, when I have always wanted to be out of it? ...It's a question I would probably never stop asking myself.

I Didn't Get It

2011-09-21T21:57:00.003+08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was interviewed for an internal job that I've always wanted. My presentation was kick ass and they asked all sorts of questions (which is good because the more questions interviewers ask, the more interested they are. I should know, I used to work in recruitment).

They gave me a firm answer about when I’ll hear back from them. “The HR will notify you this Friday,” they said. Not “We’ll let you know soon.” It was a good sign. I kept my fingers crossed. I really wanted that job. Not tryna sound materialistic, but that job has a higher pay and flexible shift and it has opportunity to travel. I wouldn't be stuck on my desk. And I could finally afford to pay for my gym membership HAHAHA! Jk.

I got news today that I didn’t get the job I wanted. I found out on Facebook, of all places. They interviewed a handful of people (including me) a couple weeks ago and the annoyingly perky know-it-all co-worker got the job. I found out on her Facebook page and she was bragging about it. I’m happy for her and all. She really is a good employee… and she’s actually nice. She’s just too—I dunno—perky for my taste, and active, and she wants to be a part of everything (which, in corporate terms, means “having initiative”).

I’m just sad that she got it instead of me. I mean, I’m equally as good as her. Maybe because I come off as a stuck-up bitch sometimes. Which I’m not. Ugh. I’m sorry I’m not perky enough for you, Learning and Development department!!!

Quarter-Life

2011-09-15T22:36:00.003+08:00

I’m turning 25 in four months. I realized that the goals I set for myself when I was 15 are still not met. Last night, I stayed up reading my old diaries. I still have all of them and sometimes I read them and laugh at my own words written with such innocence and naivete. My first diary was when I was 15 years old. In one of the entries, I wrote down a list of things that I should accomplish in 10 years.

Here are some of the things on my list that should be done by the time I’m 25:

work in the fashion industry (preferably Vogue) - LOL! As if.
be active in a charity for the blind/children with cleft palate
live with my best friends in a mansion - I lost touch with these high school best friends during college
visit the Eiffel Tower
be married and be at least 3 months pregnant

My 15-year old self is pretty hilarious XD. I can totally see how innocent I was back then. How much of a “teenager” I really was. But I’m kind of sad that I haven’t accomplished my philanthropic dream of helping the blind and children with cleft palates. I’m kind of sad I haven’t accomplished ANYTHING on my list.

I can’t believe I’m turning 25 and I still have no direction in life. Well, I have a direction, but I don’t know if that direction is what I want for myself. I’m so confused and frustrated at myself for being so… undecided. It’s kind of sad.

But you know what, you know what I really want? Win the lottery. If that happens, BAM! Problems solved.

My Parents are Angels

2011-09-14T14:17:00.001+08:00

When my mom was in her 20’s, she used to be a dancer and she spent 90% of her time in the dance studio while my dad was away at sea busy doing sailor stuff. There, she met a guy named Jett who would later become one of her best guy friends.

When I got home today from work, I found Uncle Jett at home, sleeping in a mattress in our living room, with his wife and two daughters.

My mother told me that Uncle Jett called her this morning and told her that they’ve been walking and sleeping on the streets for four days. Their landlady padlocked their doors because they haven’t paid their rent in months. They’re broke. They’ve been homeless ever since. They have been roaming the streets begging for money and food. Most of his friends didn’t bother to help him and so he went to my mother (whom he has not seen in about ten years) as a last resort. Mom and dad opened our house to them wholeheartedly.

Mom said that Uncle Jett and his family have been wearing the same clothes for four days and they smelled already. So mom prepared baths for all of them herself and cooked for them and fed them and laid out the mattress in the living room. My sisters gave our old clothes to Uncle Jett’s little daughters. My family didn’t stop tending to them until Uncle Jett and his family all went to sleep.

Dad (who is abroad right now) told mom to give Uncle Jett the money he needs to pay their rent. Mom said Uncle Jett cried because he was so grateful. Since he can now pay the rent he owes, he and his family can finally go back to their home tomorrow morning. He said that my parents are “angels on earth”.

I’m so happy because my parents are such good people with good hearts. All of Uncle Jett’s friends turned their backs on him except my mom and dad, who opened our house to them and helped them in any way they could. I’m so happy to be a part of this family. I am so touched at my parents’ actions. In a way, they were such a huge help to a friend in need and it just warms my heart so much. I am so lucky. :’)

Odd Girl Out

2011-09-09T21:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel so out of place at work. I’m not saying I’m having such a hard time at work. I like what I do. In fact, I’m very good at what I do, and I actually get praises from my clients. I like my job. The problem is, I don’t love it.

Sure, I go to work, go to my office, work on reports, train the employees, go on corporate trainings, attend meetings, have coffee breaks… you know, the whole corporate chic thing. I do those on a daily basis. And I get things done.

But you know what? I’d rather be in a studio, painting, drawing, writing stories. Or designing clothes, meeting with fashion buyers, screening models during go-sees. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be an artist.

The thing is, I’m more of a creative thinker than a critical thinker. I love my company. I deal with numbers and charts and measurements and deadlines all the time. But I’m a right-brain thinker. I’m a creative person. I love to draw and write.

Sometimes I can’t help but ask myself, “what are you doing here, Dimps? I thought you wanted to be an artist, or a designer? Why are you wearing black pinstripe corporate clothes and sitting in an office?”

…And I would always answer, “Coz it’s practical.” The pay is great. I have insurance. It’s stable. It’s good enough. If I followed my dream to be an artist, I wouldn't be different from my starving artist friends. I mean, sure they might be broke, but they actually get to do what they love. And because of that, even though they don’t get paid that much, they’re ok with it because they’re happy.

I wish I had the guts to take the risk. But I would rather choose comfort and stability. :-/

Thoughts on Marriage and Babies

2011-08-31T15:52:00.004+08:00

A lot of the people I went to high school with are now getting married. Most girls I knew in high school are already married. But I noticed one common thing: they married because they all got knocked up.

I don't want that for me. I mean, yes I'm all for kids and family life and all. I want those for me. I just don't want to get married just because I got pregnant.

I want to be successful in my career, I want to fall in love, I want to get married, I want to enjoy the marriage with my husband just the two of us, THEN have babies.

I'm happy for my high school friends who have babies and husbands. Really, I am. But I'm just saying hopefully I won't have to marry a guy just because I got knocked up. I want to marry on my own time, because my future husband and I are both in love, and because we want to. Not because we HAVE to.

You're not a good friend if...

2011-08-30T23:46:00.004+08:00

... you only thought of hanging out with me after 5 years because your bf broke up with you a week ago. Okay, when I wanted to hang out years ago, you said you had something else to do (with your boyfriend, obvs). You were always too busy with him. You didn't make time for me. We lost touch, we grew apart, and now, after your breakup, NOW YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME? To catch up? To make up for the time you were too busy for me?

I hate it when friends lose themselves when they’re in relationships. Some of my girlfriends tend to let their lives revolve around their significant others and not spend enough time with friends. I make sure I still spend time with my family and friends even when I’m in a relationship. Granted, things won’t be the same, but I make sure that my time is balanced between those people important to me.

Ugh. I hate it when friends I haven’t spoken to in years (who are also recently single) start coming back to me “out of guilt” for not spending enough time with me in the past. Uuuuugh. But… since they’re my friends, I will hang out with them still. But I won’t pretend I’m not pissed about this.

Why is it so hard to maintain a diet?

2011-08-18T21:25:00.003+08:00

I used to go the gym everyday and gained a shit ton of muscle weight. I looked like Jessica Biel and my self-confidence was off the charts. Then I stopped and I gained all these unwanted fat in my midsection. I know, I know. Why the hell does junk food have to taste sooooo damn good? Oh my god.

I was really good at first. I had discipline in what I ate. I only ate bread, fruits, veggies, red meat, protein shakes. But then eventually I started to miss the taste of McDonald’s french fries on my mouth—dipped in gravy. I couldn’t sustain my healthy diet. Despite my best intentions, I found that the healthy diet I wanted to maintain too quickly ended up a failure. Junk food got the best of me.

I’m just so lazy. I’m only good during the first few months then I lose the motivation and discipline. Uuuugh. It’s soooo hard! =(

Fine, tomorrow I’m going on beast mode. Ab workout and core exercises ftw!

Asian Flush

2011-08-08T20:48:00.002+08:00

Last Saturday, Joe and I went to Agave, an awesome dimly lit Mexican restaurant down at High Street and ordered bottomless margaritas because we wanted to get loose.

Prior to drinking, I told Joe to tell me if he sees me blotching so I could stop drinking because I didn't want to get drunk and make a fool out of myself. So from time to time, Joe would look on my neck and chest area if he could see any red splotches (which is an indication of me getting tipsy/drunk). He didn't see anything so I continued to drink like a muthafucking alcoholic.

I started to feel a bit buzzed and checked my chest area for splotches. Nothing. I thought it was weird because I could feel the alcohol kicking in, and still no red splotches. I decided to go to the ladies room to pee and check myself out. What I saw in the mirror completely horrified me.

I did not have red splotches all over my neck and chest. Instead, my whole face was completely red, like a baboon's ass. I looked like I had red face paint all over, and looked like a human tomato. That's why people were looking at me on the way to the ladies room. I ran (wobbly) outside to Joe and scolded him for not telling me my whole face was fucking red. He probably couldn't see my face clearly because of the dim lighting.

I put my head on the bar and the bartender asked if I was okay. I said "yeah" and he said he can see how red I was. When Joe and I went home, he looked it up and apparently, turning red when drinking is unique to Asians only. It's called the Asian flush (or Alcohol Flush Syndrome). I call it Baboon Butt Face Syndrome.

Moolah Matters

2011-08-04T23:41:00.002+08:00

I miss it. I miss living off my parents’ hard-earned money, as selfish as that may sound. lol. Ugh. All these grownup shit like paying bills, paying debt, paying for gym membership, paying for gas, etc… it’s all so… draining—financially, most of all. They said they’d always be there to help, but I’m a person full of pride. And besides, I don’t want my parents paying for my crap anymore. I’m 24 years old, for crying out loud.

It's not that I'm broke. It’s just that I miss it. I miss the times when I don’t have to worry about anything financially. Anyone who lives off their parents… don’t lie. You know you love it! Haha.

Man, looking at my wallet and bank account makes me depressed. I see all my cash, but then I feel sad I have to spend it all again paying off bills and debt. Damn you, adult life! lol

My grandma (dad’s mom) gave me 200 dollars last week. She shouldn't have. I’m not 13 anymore, and I have a stable job and I don’t want her to give me money anymore every single time she visits. But I think it’s sweet that she still sees me as her little granddaughter. She really is such a sweetheart. I know I shouldn't have taken the money. At all. But she insisted. And now I have 200 freaking dollars for shopping money from my wonderful grandma.

Hellz yeah!!! XD

Random Emo Moment Possibly Brought Upon by PMS

2011-08-02T21:29:00.005+08:00

The smile on my face isn’t always real.

I am jealous of a lot of people. People who live lives of such simplicity but are perfectly happy, people who live in trailer parks but are completely contented with what they have. Yet I am also jealous of people who can afford to take random trips to Paris for the weekend just for the heck of it and treat plane rides like bus commutes to the next city.

I am jealous of people who didn't have good looking significant others yet are so god-damn in love it makes me want to kill myself in a jealous rage. I am jealous of people who get the worst haircut imaginable and and still manage to look sexy. I am jealous of stupid people who have less questions about life.

I am jealous of people who don't have anything to be jealous of. I am jealous of everyone. Most times I am jealous for no reason. I wish I wasn't so discontented with my life.

"You are who you hang out with."

2011-08-01T18:00:00.002+08:00

In college, I used to hang out with these girls who I thought were pretty cool. Well, they still are. It's just that not all of them had their happy endings, so to speak. I spent a lot of time with different people: my sorority, my rugby team mates, kids from my student org, but there were a select few which really made my college life really worthwhile.

I hung out with this one girl in particular and I loved her. She was fun and cool and awesome. We'd stay up til 5am clubbing and meeting boys, but at the same time making sure we still maintain our 4.0 GPA. We were both sorority girls but we were from different sororities, and that didn't stop us from being fab girlfriends.

Then eventually, I grew out of the partying scene. I focused more on school especially during senior year. I was busy writing my thesis and drafting my resume in preparation for the corporate world. She, on the other hand, still lived the life of the typical college kid: Parties, booze, lots of sex and experimentation, etc. We kind of drifted apart during senior year and after graduation, we completely lost touch.

She added me on Facebook not too long ago. I found out that she dropped out of college and never got the chance to graduate because of a pregnancy, had three different kids from three different guys, and is now struggling to make ends meet. She added me on Facebook so she could borrow money.

It's such a shame and such a sad waste. She was so smart, but she made very stupid decisions. She was already in the top university, the creme de la creme of higher education, and she was smarter than me. Yet her life is a wreck. I'm not saying this to make myself look like I'm better than her. I'm not. I have skeletons in my closet too. I'm just saying I'm glad I made good life decisions along the way.

People tell me, "didn't you use to hang out with her? It's a good thing you didn't end up like her." I guess the saying "You are who you hang out with" isn't entirely true. Not all the time.

Meet The Aunts

2011-07-29T13:02:00.004+08:00

Joe and I had dinner with my mom and two “important” aunts (my mom’s sisters). I say important because when bringing over boyfriends, these aunts are the “individuals to impress”. They’re strict and hard to please and they seldom like the boyfriends that get introduced to them. Long story short, they’re not easily impressed by their nieces' guys.

A couple of years ago, one of my cousins introduced her boyfriend to these aunts and they didn't like him coz they thought he was a douchebag. I told my boyfriend this and he became nervous. lol

Come dinner time, we were at this posh restaurant and I saw my mother, my sisters, and my two aunts. I introduced Joe to them and they politely smiled and made small talk, you know asking questions and shit. Thank goodness there were no awkward questions. Haha! As we were eating, Joe kept talking and conversing with my aunts and I think he actually even flirted with one of them coz I heard my aunt giggle. lol jk. The rest of the night was filled with jokes, laughter, and stuffing our plates from the buffet table.

After dinner, when we said goodbye, My aunts were like, “Oh, Joe. We had so much fun. There’s NEVER a dull moment with you! We like you,” and they kissed him on each side of the cheek (European style) and left. Joe and I went back to Eastwood and my family went home.

When I got home that night, I was greeted by my aunts. "So?" I asked them what they thought of my adorable boyfriend (I was nervous deep inside). With a mischievous smile, they gave me the thumbs up. I’m glad that went well. :)

Love Even After Separation

2011-07-28T13:47:00.001+08:00

My uncle and aunt have been ~~divorced~~ separated for about 7 years now. My aunt moved to San Francisco after they separated. My cousins have moved on from it and learned to accept it. My uncle has had numerous girlfriends after my aunt and even had two kids from 2 different women.

A few months ago, we had a family reunion. Everyone was there. My cousin told us that my aunt would go online on Skype to see the family. It has been years since we last saw her and seeing her on Skype was a thrill to us. We all went to the room and huddled in the computer.

When she came online and we saw her, I saw that she has aged well. She had grey hair here and there, but she was still beautiful. Then my mom was like, “Let her talk to [Uncle]!” and they pulled my uncle and sat him down in front of the computer. They were quiet at first but the whole family was teasing them, like they were teenagers. They talked for a bit and then my uncle said goodbye and went outside. I saw that he was crying. It was different. My uncle is a manly-man. Seeing him cry felt different. My aunt was crying too. I guess they just missed each other.

No matter how long they’ve been separated, no matter how many relationships they had after they parted ways, in the end, they still have a little space in their hearts for each other. And I guess, that’s real love right there.

Asthma!

2011-07-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

Wow. What a cray cray (did I really just say "cray cray"?! lol) past couple of days. So Friday I picked up Joe from the airport. I was already sick that time with the colds. Then a day later, it morphed into cough and then surprisingly, it turned into a full blown asthma attack. I got scared coz I haven't had an asthma attack in 14 years.

Initially, I thought it was because Joe and I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail and shit was so hilarious that I couldn't stop laughing. Such a troll movie. My cough made my laugh wheezy. And it also didn't help that Joe kept tickling me too. The inevitable happened, of course. I got an asthma attack that night. I couldn't sleep because I was wheezing. I was scared I was gonna die in my sleep because of my blocked airways.

The next day I went to the hospital to get my stupid lungs checked out. Turns out it wasn't too much laughter which caused my asthma (lol). It was because it was just that time of the year. July's a pretty fucked up month over here. One minute it's scorching hot, the next there's torrential rain. Pollen from the plants are everywhere during this time of the year too. It triggered my colds (allergies), and the mucus that I didn't get out of my system turned into phlegm, and then it made my airways tighten which gave me the asthma. Sigh. Now I have to carry an inhaler with me. =(

Sigh. I hope I get better soon.

Saying No

2011-07-21T23:26:00.003+08:00

I have over-booked myself yet again, and it's because of my inability to say "no". I don't know why I can't say "no". And now I'm feeling all this unnecessary stress because of this. If you've seen the movie Yes Man, that's who I am. Well, not all the time. I know how to say "no" sometimes, especially when I feel like it's a risk to myself. But when it involves other people, I find it really hard to turn them down.

Like today, I just said yes to a certain project that I know I can do, but with the time frame given to me, I was absolutely positive that I couldn't do it, yet the person who delegated it to me looks up to me so much and knows my potential that I found it hard to turn him down. And now, I'm soooo freakin' stressed.

I guess I found it hard to say no because I wanted to help. I was afraid of being rude. I had fear of conflict. I wanted to be agreeable. And I didn't want to burn bridges. I guess it all boils down to feeling "liked". I didn't want them to not like me by saying no. Ugh. It's silly, I know. But I realize, in the process, I become a doormat.

I managed to do the task. I'm almost done. I thought I couldn't do it, but I did it. But the quality is less than stellar, and it's not one of my best works. I have stretched myself thin yet again. Dimple needs to learn how to say "no".

Bye, Grandma...

2011-07-11T19:12:00.002+08:00

This was me and my beautiful grandmother taken at New Year's Eve. Every year, the whole clan gathers together to spend the holidays with everyone in the family. This year, we won't be able to do it without feeling like we're missing one person. My grandmother passed away yesterday.

I got a call from my cousin yesterday while I was at the mall with my boyfriend telling me that Wawa had a heart attack. I felt sad, but I couldn't cry even though I wanted to. My cousin was bawling at the other end of the line and I thought I was going to cry as well, but I didn't. I guess what I felt was shock. I felt really sad, though. Extremely sad. I told Joe this and he offered his condolences and hugged me. My grandma and I were close, but I was wondering why I couldn't cry. Maybe because I was in a public place, maybe because I was with my boyfriend, or maybe because I just couldn't accept that my lively grandma had suffered a heart attack. A few hours later, I got a call that she passed away. I sat there and just felt really sad. But I didn't cry. I didn't want to in front of Joe even though I was so heartbroken over my grandma's death. I wanted to look strong, I guess...

When I got home that night, I immediately went to my mom's room and saw her lying in bed with puffy eyes. I hugged her and I heard her sniff and cry and that was it. I started crying. But only for a while. I wanted to be strong for my mom who loved grandma so much.

I miss my grandma. I'll miss her stories. I'll miss her laughter. I'll miss her jolly disposition. I'll miss her. This week I'll be flying to Davao for her wake and burial. I want to say my last goodbye to my darling Wawa. I love you so much, Wawa. Rest in peace.

The Simple Things

2011-07-05T16:23:00.003+08:00

I was hanging out with some friends last weekend and one of the topics of our conversation was our goals and dreams. lol. Yes, we talk about serious stuff like that. I told them I just want to advance in my career, get a Master's degree before I turn 30, buy a house by the beach, invest in a good business, and just chill all day with my future family.

You know what my friend said? Her dream is for her dad's crops to have a good harvest in their small farm in the province and for her to be able to send monetary help to her parents. When I heard her say this, it just tugged my heartstrings. She's so simple and so down to earth and has such simple dreams.

Sometimes I forget that people have it worse than I do. I'm not dirt poor, but I'm not extravagantly rich either. But I sometimes bitch about missing my old car, about not having that Louis Vuitton monogram canvas Ellipse Sac a Dos backpack that I've been eyeing for so long, not getting my Starbucks fix, and constantly thinking about that promotion at work, when in fact, some people feel happy just to have enough money to get them through the day.

At that moment, I appreciated what I have. I have a loving family and good people surrounding me and I shouldn't complain. Some of my less privileged friends don't have much but they're the happiest people I know. Some people get spoon-fed and were born with silver spoons in their mouths. But for some, what they have is the result of hard work. And they're content even if it's not much. I guess, for them, simplicity is enough to make them happy. And I should learn that myself.

Not having my own car anymore (and resorting to using my mom's), living back with the parents, not having privileges I used to have, these things shouldn't be a big deal. Getting used to deprivation isn't that really hard. I just have to keep in mind that simplicity is bliss.

When It Rains, It Pours

2011-07-01T00:10:00.003+08:00

Have you ever had that experience that when things go wrong, a lot of things go wrong at the same time? Like triggering some sort of chain reaction?

This week has not been a very good one for me. Things at work have been very stressful and it's mainly my fault. I have been very careless lately. Being assigned with too much workload this week has taken it's toll on me. I have backed up for two of my colleagues this month and I was pretty sure I could do it. Turns out I over-booked myself and I didnt handle the pressure very well, which is very wrong. No matter how much you look at it, everything's my fault really. And I'm freakin pissed at myself for being so! I have no excuse!

Thank goodness I have awesome bosses who are understanding and did not go apeshit when they found out about my mistakes. And thank goodness there were some loopholes that got me off the hook. Uuuugh. This week, like last week, is another hell week. No kidding.

I need a drink. I need a massage. I just wish it was weekend already.

Filipino Time

2011-06-30T17:29:00.006+08:00

Filipino Time - an excuse for arriving late to any party, meeting, or hanging out. ONLY EXCLUSIVE TO FILIPINOS, this is the standard time any Filipino will arrive to. Many people of other races hate it, because most of them will arrive on the marked time.

My boyfriend once told me back when we were just starting out, "You are a lot of things... but punctual." I guess Filipino Time and the "fashionably late rule" don't apply to him at all. In most of our dates, I always ended up late and sometimes I just get so embarrassed, but I can't help it! I should learn to be on time from now on, and be considerate. lol. I'm starting to think he'd hate me for it eventually. Ugh. Filipino time is to blame! It's the culture! lol.

"Filipino Time" is the coined phrase for the embarrassing affliction of tardiness among Filipinos. It is curious and mind boggling how the general population of a certain nation could possibly be chronically late. And yet, it has been tried and tested to be true to this very day.

As a sociologist, I personally think Filipinos are late not because they are inconsiderate, thoughtless, or just don't give a shit about being on time. For the most part, we know what time we need to be there, the intention is to be there, but for some reason, we still get there 15 minutes late, half an hour late, even an hour late. Most of us will shrug it off. We were late and that was that. Very few will take a moment to step back and think there must be a root cause, some psychological reason why this is so. But in the end, it all boils down to culture. It is what it is.

So next time you invite me to hang out, I'll trrrry so damn hard to be on time. I promise. I don't want ya'll to be pissed off. But if I do come in late, ya'll know that I'm not late. I'm on Filipino time.

One of the Boys

2011-06-29T14:44:00.003+08:00

I love my guy friends to death. I consider myself one of the boys. I'm the kind of girl who will hunt and fish, sleep and cook outdoors, be able to hold her own in a fight, use profanity, drink and smoke, be tattooed and pierced, play electric guitar or drums, be an energetic sports fan of limited contact or full contact sports, play full contact sports (i.e. like rugby and mix martial arts), choose to drive a truck, sports car or motorcycle... basically I'm a woman who doesn't mind being called a "dude".

But there's a thin line between being one of the boys and being treated like an actual boy. lol

I was talking to Nicholas yesterday about some dating problems of his and gave him advice, and somehow our serious conversation went from love and depression to porn. I was like wut? And everybody knows that once a guy starts talking about porn, there's no stopping them. From my experience with my guy friends, at least.

So there I was giving my friend Nicholas an advice and then he started mentioning sex and then I dunno what happened and the next thing I knew, he was talking to me about porn and his sex life. The fuck?! lol! Okay, I can be openly sexual because after all boys will be boys. Seriously, I love my guy friends, but please, I don't really need to hear every gory detail about their sex lives. Things like that should be kept private! Hahaha! Or at least don't tell your girl buddies that kind of stuff, because, after all, I'm still a girl.

Sigh. If there's one thing I hate about my guy friends, it's that they treat me like an actual guy sometimes. There's a thing called boundary, guys! And sharing too much, FYI! Hahaha.

Sapiosexual

2011-06-28T18:32:00.004+08:00

Sapiosexual

one who finds intelligence and aesthetic talents as the most attractive features in other people

Sure, rock hard abs and an iron tush are alright, but it's the ability to stimulate my mind that turns me on the most. Thankfully my boyfriend is smart, insightful and intelligent and every time I'm with him and we have these conversations about serious topics like the economy, stocks, philosophy, and whatnot, I learn something new from him. And it's great that I do. I enjoy being with him when he's goofy and crazy and mushy and all, but I like him all the more when we talk about serious topics.

A girl friend and I were talking today about this guy she's dating. He's in the modelling industry and he likes basketball. He is really good looking and all, but the guy is just that. Good looking, but he has the IQ of a hamster. All he talks about is basketball and modelling and the right product to put on your hair. I mean, sure, he's got washboard abs to die for, a cute Chinese face, porcelain skin, and biceps more defined than that of Adonis', but really, it gets old after a while. When we're with this guy, omg I can't even talk to him about serious stuff like the Philippine politics, his views on the RH bill, current events... he'd be like, "Eh, I don't really know about stuff like that, and I don't really follow, so I don't care." But ask him about sneakers and basketball and clothes you can mix and match and he'd answer you with glee. The sad thing is, my girl friend is just so smitten with him. I get what she sees in him physically, but man I don't think I could put up with a guy like that. I'd be bored.

Thank goodness I'm not that shallow. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I didn't look twice at him when I first saw him, because I did (lol), but once we started talking, everything went pffft! Shame. Such a handsome young man. But nah, not my type at all. I guess I really am a sapiosexual.

Starting from Scratch

2011-06-28T16:45:00.007+08:00

Do you ever think about that sometimes? Like letting everything go and just starting all over again? For the past couple of years I have been thinking of doing that. It's just that I'm too chicken shit to actually do it. Here's what I really wanna do (If I could, and if it were that easy):

...quit my job, buy a ticket, get a tan, fall in love, never return...

If. Only. I. Could. F***ing. Do it. I want to move away. I want to not talk to anyone I know (except for family, of course, and my closest friends). I want to throw my phone away. I want to erase everything that has something to do with my past. I want to meet new people. I want to start fresh. I want to not give a shit about the world. I want to be laid back and easy-going. Hellz yeah, even though it means I would probably go broke, I would f***ing do it if I could.

I want to disappear. Not from the world. But just from everyone else's minds and the hustle and bustle of life. It would be awesome to escape. Even just for a while. I would probably miss my old life, but it would probably be a fleeting missing feeling too. Would people miss me? I dunno.

The sad thing is, I don't think I can do all these things. I'm too weak. Too weak to pursue happiness? Maybe. Life's unfair sometimes. Til then, I would have to go through this freakin' everyday routine called Dimple's Life. Til then, I walk alone.

Random P.S. I wish I was Adriana Lima. So freakin bad. Hahaha!

I love my gay friends!

2011-06-23T21:24:00.002+08:00

They're absolutely the best! Whenever I'm with them, I feel like one of those Sex and the City girls, only less horse-facey and much much younger and more fabulous.

I had a mini reunion with one of my best gay friends in high school tonight. We were having drinks at The Distillery and reminiscing about high school and talking about how we were over the years. I always love hanging out with them! There's non-stop laughter, bonding, drunk dancing, and even too much information, like sharing tips on anal sex (HAHAHA! I keed, I keed!). I told them about the recent development in my gay-dar. I confessed that it hasn't been working really well lately. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell if a guy is gay or not. I mentioned to them that I once had this crush on someone who turned out to be gay. lol. They said that gay men prefer the "straight-slash-metrosexual" look nowadays as compared to the all out cross-dressing. They even told me some "theorems" regarding the issue, which garnered some laughs. lol. I love them!

I have a lot of gay friends. All my life I've been surrounded with gay men. One of my mom's best friends is gay. Hell, even my dad have tons of gay admirers. lol. In my group of friends, I've always been referred to as having a gay personality. I'm happy that the stigma regarding homosexuality is not as bad as it used to. They're becoming more accepted as seen by recent developments in DADT, same sex marriages, and the like.

Ah! I'm just so happy I got to hang out with them tonight. Maybe even too happy. Meh. It's probably the alcohol talking. Haha!

The Exes

2011-06-23T15:58:00.005+08:00

So I was reading this blog post about exes and it kind of made me think about my ex-luvahz. I’m not really friends with all of my exes. Well, except for one (my high school sweetheart). I've had my fair share of dating/relationship disasters, and here's a peek into the douchebag list.

1. The one who was my high school sweetheart - (all throughout highschool - 2004) I first met him in 5th grade but we didn’t get close until high school. He was the MVP for our basketball team, very much a jock, and everyone had a crush on him, including me. When he asked me out, people were shocked but it was sweet that the most popular guy in school had feelings for me. We broke up amicably shortly after graduation because we were both going to different colleges. Seven years later, he’s still one of my best guy friends. We even went jogging together a couple weeks ago. =)

2. The one who was living a double life - (2005-2006) This guy was a smooth operator. And he lived a double life. Why, you ask? Well, I was only his girlfriend number 2. FYI, I had absolutely NO idea that he had another girlfriend. Well, I guess towards the end I had gut feelings like, he didnt invite me to his college graduation, he only invites me over when no one’s at home, and he never introduced me to any of his friends and family. He was cheating on his girlfriend with me and it hurt so bad because I was stupid enough to believe he was faithful to me. So yeah, needless to say, I found out eventually and broke up with the jerk.

3. The one who couldn’t get over his ex - (2006-2007) This guy broke my heart the most. My whole family loved him, and his family loved me. He was one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever known. We were seemingly perfect for each other. The only problem was he kept talking about his ex girlfriend of six years. Aaaall the freakin’ time. I should’ve seen it coming. One day, he didn’t call me at all. No texts either. I figured he was just busy so I brushed it off. The next day, he broke up with me. Just. Like. That. Reason? He bumped into his ex girlfriend on the street that day he didnt call, and realized he still very much love her. They got back together that same day. It was painful beyond belief, to be dumped without warning. I heard they stayed together for a while then broke up. The said ex added me on Facebook just recently and the status is "single". Oh well. I bet he thought I was "the one who got away." *shrugs*

4. The one who lacked confidence - (2007-2007) He was probably the nicest and quite possibly the most shy guy out of all my exes, probably because I was his first girlfriend. He did all his firsts with me. EVERYTHING. First kiss, first dry-hump, first everything. LOL. He was also the most intelligent. In short, this guy was a downright nerd. But a cute nerd, ok. A book-loving, intellectually-speaking, funny guy who I had fun times with. One problem, though. He was so insecure about himself. He had self-confidence issues and he constantly thought low of himself and told me that I don’t deserve him. His low self-esteem got the best of him which caused such a strain in our relationship that I had no choice but to let him go.

5. The one who didn’t really care that much - (2007-2009) What I had with him was very much a whirlwind romance. We fell for each other in a matter of weeks, but then he had to leave so we decided to try the long distance thing. Towards the end of the relationship, he sort of neglected his duties as a long distance boyfriend. He stopped communicating and kept telling me he was busy. I found out he was living the single life where he was, partying all night, hooking up with women. Ugh. It took me a while to realize we really weren’t meant for each other. Six months after the breakup, he returned and tried to get me back, but yeah, I've had enough of him and his BS.

6. The one who had a lot of secrets - (2009-2010) This one was quite possibly the most deceitful relationship I've ever had. It was the most mature and passionate one, but it was full of lies. He was in the military so we were long distance for the most part, but we made sure to visit each other whenever we can. During one of his long trips away to the field, I found out from one of his buddies that he was married. It was pretty shocking to me. I have to say, he was pretty good at keeping his secrets. I went to see him where he was stationed, had a little vacation with him (lol) then on my last day, I told him I knew all his secrets and broke up with him at the airport. It's been a while. Last I heard he's divorced already and moving on pretty well. Good for him.

Looking back, these guys I dated, they're lessons learned. I don't really have any regrets. Getting a boyfriend and breaking up is part of life. Breakups happen everyday and most times breaking up hurts like a bitch, but sometimes, it doesn't. Like, at all. =) I don't know what's up with all my exes nowadays. I don't really care. But I'm pretty sure they're all doing alright. We've all moved on from each other. There's no point in dwelling over the past. What's important is that right now, I'm doing really great. Without them. lol

HELL WEEK!

2011-06-22T14:24:00.002+08:00

I'm actually quite surprised I actually still have the time to post this! Ugh. I've been busy since Monday, and I can't even express how stressed and tired I am, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I just have to let out some steam for a couple minutes that's why I'm writing this. I wish Friday would come sooner, so everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) will be out of my hair. I won't have to think about deadlines, reports, presentations, Wikisites, client visits, and training requests anymore! Ugh!

I can honestly say this week has got to be one of THE busiest weeks ever. I've downloaded a couple of movies (The King's Speech and The Hurt Locker) and I've been dying to see them eversince The Oscars last year and this year, but I have yet to watch them because of my unbelievable workload. Sigh. Can the weekend PLEASE be here now?!

Ugh. My mom says that because I had so much fun over the weekend (way too much fun, she said), Fate made me suffer by giving me Hell Week at work. Sigh. Maybe she's right. lol.

Speaking of my weekend, Joe and I went to Subic to go wreck diving. We checked out the ships that were sunk during WWII. We checked out an LCU, a ship called El Capitan, a Japanese patrol boat, and the USS New York. It was pretty sureal seeing shipwrecks like that. I mean, it was my first time. It was scary (especially since it was raining, the visibility was shitty) and dark, but once I was down there, it was all so exciting and crazy and fun!

Anyway, hopefully things will lighten up tomorrow. Today's Day Three of Hell Week. I swear I've been on overtime at work for the past three days. I'm that busy. It's either I have to go to work 3 hours before shift, or I have to stay 3 hours after shift just to finish some stuff. Aaaagh! Lord! It's so stressful!!! =(

4 AM

2011-06-16T03:40:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting outside, watching the beautiful lunar eclipse, listening to the crickets and feeling the gentle breeze on my face. Everything's so peaceful and quiet.

The moon is completely covered now and is emitting a reddish glow. It's wonderful and mysterious and I feel like I'm drawn to it. I strummed on my guitar and the sound of it made me feel relaxed and at ease.

I love nights like this. If only Joe's beside me right now. It would have been fun and romantic to share this moment with him.

The Trifecta

2011-06-15T02:59:00.001+08:00

When I was still active in online dating, some dude on OK Cupid told me that I was the trifecta. He said I was everything he’s looking for in a woman: smart, sexy, and sensitive. According to him, a woman who has the trifecta is the perfect catch.

I appreciated his compliments, but I didn't exactly feel the same about him because he was a 48 year old English professor. lol. I swear, sometimes in online dating sites, people would ignore the "age preference" section and I remember getting messages from men older than my dad. Ha! Good times, though.

ANYWAY, back to the trifecta thing. So a friend mentioned today that he thinks I'm smart, sexy, and sensitive and that my boyfriend is really lucky to have me. We were talking about this chick he's (for lack of a better word) banging. He said that while this girl is good in bed, she's nowhere near my league. I asked him, "then why the hell are you still with her?" and his answer was "I'm a man, and I have needs." He said that with a wink. Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with these douchebags. But I love my friends. lol. Anyway, that's when he mentioned that I'm a quality-girl. I have the trifecta. And that I shouldn't be messed with because I'm a rare breed, according to him.

It reminded me of what that old dude told me on OK Cupid. I wish I felt like I was the person they were talking about, though... Many of you don't know, I have mad insecurities. While I appreciate being called pretty or sexy or smart, and it helps boost my self-esteem, I have to admit that sometimes they make me feel weird and uncomfortable and I don't know why. Sometimes I wish I wasn't weird... but I am.

When my boyfriend calls me beautiful, I feel happy, yet I don't know how to react and I don't know what to say, but a simple "thank you". There are even times when I don't want him to call me that because I feel like I'm not... You know what I'm saying? Agh! Why do I have to be so weird? Stupid insecurities. Maybe it's all stemming from a difficult childhood... But that's another story.

I love meddling in my baby sister's love life!

2011-06-14T21:55:00.002+08:00

More importantly, I LOVE that she shares stuff like this to me!

My baby sister, who’s 17, told me about this guy who acts as if he’s her boyfriend, making her picture his desktop wallpaper, roaming/”patrolling” around our house at night… And worse: getting mad at my sister for not texting him. Assuming much?! I saw some of his Facebook posts, him going apeshit because my sister didn’t text him the whole day and my sister was like, “who the hell are you to get mad at me? Are you my boyfriend?” lol!

I was a teenager once, and I’ve had experiences where guys “think” they’re automatically my boyfriend just because I hung out with them once, when they’re not. I hate when guys assume.

So I gave my sister advice, and posted stuff on her Facebook wall aimed at the d-bag. I hope he reads it. I know I shouldn’t meddle and just let my sister handle it, but… I love drama! Especially teenage love drama! Hahaha!

Weekend Update

2011-06-13T17:07:00.005+08:00

I had a fun weekend. I watched The Hangover Part II with Joe last Saturday and I loved the movie! It was funnier than the first one most definitely, but this was also even more gross. lol. The critics were right, the movie really did guarantee me laughs. But what was funnier to me was seeing Joe crack up and almost roll on the floor laughing. XD There were some parts that had jokes that only Americans would get and so there were times when he'd be the only one laughing and everyone would look at him and be like "What's so funny?" lol. Priceless.

I just felt weird about them Lady Boys! Hahahaha! But meh, it's Bangkok and I've heard stories from my dad about his experiences with the Lady Boys. It's just... weird. Weird funny. lol. I wish I had big boobs like them though. Damn, those ladies have such awesome knockers. I would kill for their breasts! For their penises, not so much.

The next day, my sweet handsome boyfriend invited me and my sister brats to play Laser Tag and it was such a blast! Barney Stinson was right. Laser Tag is the most awesome game on earth! We did three games and by the time we finished, we were all soaking from our sweat. LOL. It was that fun. I'm thinking of taking my team mates sometime so they could experience it.

Hanging out with Joe and my sisters was great. But they kept on picking on me the whole time. lol. I mean, there I was thinking my boyfriend would stick with me if/when my sisters would pick on me, but noooooo, he decided to join the dark side and they ganged up on me the whole day. It was torture. But fun, nonetheless. Haha. =)

Girls Day Out Photoshoot

2011-06-10T21:01:00.007+08:00

Today the lovely girls of my team had a photoshoot at Eastwood for a contest at work. Lulz! And it's mandatory so we have no choice but to join. So the theme was Summer Fun something something. The problem is, it's not summer anymore. When we had the shoot today, it was raining. lol. Buuut, we managed to get things done.

We were supposed to get photographed like two weeks ago but we were all so busy and we just couldn't find the time to set a schedule for the shoot. Then we found out that the deadline was moved so we all decided on a common date. The only thing is, when we did decide to go ahead with the shoot, it's already the start of the rainy season.

We could give the Sex and the City girls a run for their money with this shot!

But of course, we still managed to workaround this thing. Rain or shine, we did the shoot. It was fun. We wore sundresses (so it would still fit into the "summer" theme even though it was pouring) and acted like we had soooo much fun hahaha. Well, we weren't really acting. We did have fun!

To Make a Good Omelette, You Gotta Break a Few Eggs

2011-06-09T23:23:00.005+08:00

We all mess up. We’re young. We get into trouble. That’s what we do. But then we won’t be who we are if we didn’t learn from our past mistakes.

I'm not here to preach about how such an angel I am, because Lawdy knows I'm not. I mean, I would freakin' die if my strict Catholic mom found out about my potty mouth and I've done a lot of shit during the past few years (especially during college), most of them I'm not proud of. I can't even bring myself to even talk about those. But like I said, we do stupid things when we're young.

And like most people, we grow up eventually. You know that saying "to grow old is inevitable, to grow up is an option"? Well, I chose to grow up. Who I was back in the day is not who I am today. I can honestly say I've learned from the stuff I've been through.

It's just that... it's sad when people can't see past the old you. They have this mentality that once you're bad, you're always bad. I'm not saying bad as in serial killer bad. I'm not gonna lie. I did get cozy with the bad crowd. I did risk a reputation. Maybe I did a little experimenting here and there. For experience. And as my boyfriend would say, "for science". lol. Okay, so I've done things which aren't necessarily good per se, but I'm a mature adult now. Contrary to what my college self used to say, I actually know better, for real this time.

"The only constant thing is change". That's how the saying goes. People change. Fact.

GRRR!!!

2011-06-09T23:06:00.003+08:00

I freakin’ HATE it when cab drivers hit on me. I’m like dude, you’re old enough to be my dad or a sleazy uncle. Ugh!

When I got in the cab, he asked me if I was an actress and I was like, why have u seen me on tv? And he said I look familiar to him. I said no, and he was like, well you should be. I just smiled uncomfortably. Then all of a sudden he’s like, "If you become famous would you date commoners, say, taxi drivers?" I was like wuuuut the f***?! Seriously? You're flirting with me? Hahaha!

He kept staring at my legs, and I caught him looking at me from the rear-view mirror. Ugh! I mean, fine, sure, stare at me from time to time, whatever, it's your life. But stop giving me the creepy stares! The kind of stare that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand because he's staring with an equally creepy smile on his face that could give Ted Bundy a run for his money. Freakin' cabbie looked like a psychopath, I'm not even kidding!

I hate it when old men hit on me! Yuck!

I don't mean to sound like such a prissy, stuck-up, better-than-anyone, bitch. But I felt harassed, like he was undressing me with his eyes. And I wasn't even dressed like I was "asking for it". Sigh. That's it. From now on, when I'm commuting to work, no more make-up for me. I wanna look like a homely girl. Not kidding.

My Nose is Like a Faucet

2011-06-08T13:48:00.002+08:00

I swear, sometimes I hate my nose. It's so sensitive! Just a slight touch or a light rub and it'll trigger sneezes. And it's not only reactive to physical touch. It's also sensitive to the weather. Slight rain or a slight change in temperature causes me to instantly have a case of the sniffles.

Right now, I'm battling a runny nose because of this damn weather. It's raining at the moment and it's a bit cold, that's why my nose and I are not in good terms right now. Yesterday, it was scorching hot outside (even though it was raining), and I sweat like crazy, then when I got to my office, it was like freakin' winter wonderland because of the air conditioner, and I think that's what triggered this freakin' cold. Ugh.

I can't even go to work now because I'm so sick. I had to resort to working from home because I just can't afford to not work. I'm a busy girl. lol. And to be honest, I'm a little embarrassed about blowing my nose at the office because I sound like a retarded trumpet. Grrrr. Damn you, nose!

It's that time of the year again...

2011-06-07T17:39:00.003+08:00

Ugh. If you've been reading my blog since I started writing, you'd know that I am not a fan of the rain. I can't even count the number of times I've written/tweeted about my hatred for the rainy season. Ok, ok. I don't exactly hate it. I like the rain on some occassions. Like, when I'm at home, and I'm sleeping. Perfect bed weather.

But in times like these, like when I'm outside, or going to work, or basically somewhere that's not home for me, I really don't like it. Today, I took the mind-numbing commute to work. When I took the trike to Super 8 (and rocking a minidress in 4-inch heels too), it was drizzling. Then I got into a cab just in time for the heavy downpour. There was a heavy traffic near the office, and I was already late, so I figured I'd get out of the cab, run into the rain, and get to the office.

Bad idea. Not only was I soaked, but I also got sick.

Now I can't breathe through my nose, it's all clogged and runny. I keep sneezing like, every millisecond, I say "by dose" instead of "my nose", I disturb everyone at work with my constant nose-blowing, aaaaand I look like total shit (yes, despite the minidress and the heels). I hate getting sick. I hate getting these damn colds. Uuuugh.

And one other reason to hate this day, running in the rain ruined my beautiful stilettos. =(

Kid Stuff, Adult Stuff

2011-06-06T14:11:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, the boyfriend and I went to an amusement park (Star City). It’s been ten years since I last went to one. Of course we tried the roller coaster, the house of horrors, and the bumper car, and all the other rides. It was weird, yet fun. There we were, two people in their mid to late twenties enjoying kiddie rides. Haha! Although I did almost throw up after riding one of the crazy rides. I enjoyed the laser tag the most.

We were actually supposed to go paintball, but when we got to Global Gutz, there was nobody there. Oh well. I'm gonna call a bunch of my friends and invite them to go paintballing with Joe. The more, the merrier, right? So yeah, it was empty, so we went to Star City instead. It felt different. When I was younger, Star City looked really huge for me. I realized yesterday that it wasnt that big after all. Lol. We tried most of the rides (not all, because the last ride made my stomach feel weird and I didn't want to vomit , it's social suicide hahaha) and it was actually really fun. :)

Anyway, after the kiddie amusement park stuff, We had dinner, and had drinks… you know, adult stuff. I'm telling you, I got drunk. I woke up today with a massive hangover. And I haven't had a hangover since college! LOL. Joe made me walk a straight line on the sidewalk (kinda like how cops test drunk drivers), and needless to say, the wobbly walk made me fail the test. I was drunk. When I got home, my mom opened the door for me, I kissed her and went straight to bed so she wouldnt find out how smashed I was. LOL. I deserve an Oscar for my Best Actress award. I actually pulled off a sober act in front of my mom. :)

Update on My Bucket List

2011-06-03T13:04:00.008+08:00

Exactly one year ago today, I wrote a post about the 50 things I want to do before I turn 30. I'm proud to say that I've managed to scratch a few things off my list.

The old ones have a ~~strike~~ in them, as you can see from my old post from last year. I'll highlight the new ones in blue.

Random things I want to do:

1. Play in the snow
2. Bungee jump
3. Get ~~a tattoo~~ another tattoo - I got my second tattoo just two months after I got my first tattoo
4. Have my belly-button pierced - I got my navel pierced a couple days ago
5. ~~Learn another language~~
6. Donate a huge amount of money to charity - A significant amount of money was taken from my salary and donated it to the earthquake and tsunami victims of Japan a few months ago. I was very happy about this. :)
7. Go scuba diving - My boyfriend Joe took me diving in April and it was so fun!
8. Go surfing
9. Test drive an expensive car
10. Run a marathon
11. Meet one of my celebrity crushes in person - Jericho Rosales goes to the same gym as me so I see him on a regular basis!
12. Go parasailing
13. Go rock-climbing
14. Ride a helicopter
15. Live in a foreign country for at least 3 months
16. Fire a pistol
17. ~~Become a print/catalogue model~~
18. Become an extra in a movie
19. Go on a cruise
20. Win a professional poker match
21. Learn to juggle - Last year I practiced really hard and I got the hang of it.
22. Paint a masterpiece
23. Own a cat
24. Ride a motorcycle - I went to Davao and owned that shit! I'm the Queen of the Road, baby!
25. Go drifting

Meaningful things I want to do:

26. Save someone's life
27. Share the Gospel to at least one person - I shared the Gospel to none other than my family. =)
28. Get a Masters degree
29. Donate blood
30. Discover what makes me truly happy
31. Spend three days in silence

Things I want to do that requires travelling:

32. Visit the White House

33. Ride a rollercoaster in Disneyland

34. Go soul-searching in Jerusalem
35. Party hard in Las Vegas
36. Eat a space cake in Amsterdam
37. Attend an Oktoberfest event in Germany
38. See the Mona Lisa painting at the Louvre in Paris
39. Climb up the Statue of Liberty
40. Visit St. Peter's Basilica in Rome
41. Go dune driving/dune buggy in Dubai
42. Scream on top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
43. Go to a hot spring in Japan
44. Visit the Great Wall of China

Romantic things I want to do:

45. ~~Kiss someone passionately on New Year's Day~~
46. Write a love song
47. ~~Serenade a significant other~~
48. Fall in love
49. Get married
50. Become a parent

I realize that some of the things written on here, like things that require travelling, or things uncertain, like falling deeply in love, are things that are quite difficult to do. But as those Nike ads go, impossible is nothing. If there's a will, there's a way. And damn straight I'm gonna do all this before I turn 30.

I Pissed My Pants!

2011-06-03T01:58:00.001+08:00

I actually pissed my pants just now! LOL! I was holding it in and I was doing the “holding your piss” dance to prevent me from soiling myself, then I got a really funny text message from my best friend and I laughed so hard that all my uterus muscles got loose and then I felt warm liquid down my pants.

And I haven't pissed my pants in 14 years, man! Hahahahaahhahaha!

Carpe Diem

2011-06-02T22:45:00.004+08:00

Life is short, so don't hold back on the things that you really wanna do.

There were times when I wanted to do stuff but I always stopped myself because I was afraid of the risks and the repercussions. I was afraid of the negative effects. In every sense of the word, I was the "NO girl".

Then one day, a very good friend of mine succumed to a very serious illness. She was so young and had her life ahead of her. I remember her telling me when she was still alive that she wished she did the things she really wanted to do, like go to art school. She told me, "Life is short. Make the most of it." I thought things like that only happen in the movies, a dying friend telling you "life is short".

And so from then on, I decided to seize the day. There are still times when I'd chicken out, but most times I'm up for anything. I got my first tattoo out of spontaneity. It was liberating. Then I had my second tattoo after a couple months just because I wanted it.

Of course, my mom didn't like the idea of me getting permanently marked, but I told her, "It's my life. It's now or never. I aint gonna live forever." Hahaha! Bon Jovi ftw! But yeah, I basically told her I just want to live. You know what I mean? So when my boyfriend told me he'd take me diving, something I've never done before, I still said yes. And now I'm already a certified diver.

And just recently, I got my navel pierced too. I've always wanted one, but I was too scared to do it before because I heard it was painful. But eventually I did it, and it didn't hurt that much!

I'm glad I did all these things and seized the day. Now I have a couple items to scratch off my bucket list. =)

Of Habits and Hobbies

2011-05-31T22:21:00.010+08:00

Today's gym session with my pretty trainer Aya wasn't exactly the hardest ever (we did chest and arms), but I was concerned with how easily I ran out of breath and got tired. We've done even more difficult workouts during the past month, specifically the leg workouts and it was a cinch to me. It's probably because I just got back from a night shift at work. Last week, I went to work at 9pm and went home at 7am. I'm really not a fan of late night shifts but I had to do it. I think it's also because I just can't quit the cancer stick.

Man, I have such a love-hate relationship with it. I really hope the government puts on taxes on those damn ciggs. I've tried so many times to break up my relationship with it (cold turkey) and I manage to live without it for a couple weeks/months, then I start craving it again. Sigh.

I'm better off without it, really. Plus, it can help me perform better at my sport. I don't wanna run out of breath when I'm sprinting across the field. Speaking of touch rugby, here's a photo taken by my team mate during one of our games three weeks ago. lol.

Having a sport is awesome. It's a great hobby. I'm glad I went back to playing regularly. I used to play like every week back in college, but then it contributed to my intense weight loss (since it's all about running and cardio and shit) so I downgraded to just playing once a month. Damn you, fast metabolism! I also used to do MMA. I actually miss combat training. Damn, what happened to me? I guess life caught up with me. If I'm not at home, I'm at the office, being a corporate slave. Seems like my new hobby these days is going to the gym between breaks from work, lifting weights with those guidos at the gym. Have I become one of those gym rats?

Sigh. Life.

Porn Music

2011-05-30T20:01:00.001+08:00

Today, a friend said to me, "Someone taught me how to make porn music with my mouth." I was like, porn music? Then she was like, "Yeah. Just say: 'brown chicken, brown cow.'"

It took me a while to realize what she was talking about. How does 'brown chicken, brown cow' relate to porn music? Then I realized, my boyfriend keeps saying/singing "bow chicka bow wow" every time he's suggesting something naughty. LOL!

I remember him telling me that the words “bow chika wow wow” comes from an inside joke about background music associated with 70’s and early 80’s American porn movies.

Brown chicken, brown cow.

Bubba Ho-Tep

2011-05-30T19:59:00.000+08:00

Last night, my boyfriend made me watch Bubba Ho-Tep. We were at the living room when his brother was like, “Have you seen Bubba Ho-Tep?” and I said no, then my boyfriend was like, “Oh you gotta see it”, so we watched it.

It was a movie about Elvis and a black JFK in a nursing home. In the story, they were alive. During the 1970s, when Elvis Presley (Bruce Campbell) grew tired of the demands of his fame, he switched places with an Elvis impersonator named Sebastian Haff. It was Haff who eventually died in 1977, while the real Elvis lived in quiet, happy anonymity and made a living pretending to be himself. lol. After a propane explosion destroyed documentation which was the only proof that he was actually Elvis, he was unable to return to his old lifestyle.

Elvis’s only friend is a black man named Jack (Ossie Davis) who insists he is President John F. Kennedy, claiming to have been dyed black after the assassination, and abandoned by Lyndon Johnson in a nursing home. The truth behind his identity remains unclear, but Elvis does spot a mysterious scar on the back of Jack’s head. It could be from the head wound, but then it might not be.

And then they battle a mummy in cowboy boots and named him Bubba Ho-Tep.

Even though I was a bit buzzed and drowzy from my sniffles, I still found the movie funny. Especially when Elvis busted out his karate moves. lol. Try envisioning an old man, in an Elvis Presley suit, riding a motorized wheelchair and then jumping up in a karate stance. Tell me that's not funny. lol. Bruce Campbell made laugh. It was so funny. :)

A Year Ago Today...

2011-05-30T19:45:00.003+08:00

... I was giving He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named kisses on Skype. It was the first time he said "I love you". He said it to me in Korean. "Saranghe, yeoja chingu. (I love you, my girlfriend.)" Then he said it to me in English and I felt like I was the happiest girl in the world. I remember stuff like this naturally, because I'm a girl. lol. The thing about being a girl is that you remember stuff. Anniversary dates, the little sweet things you did, and happy moments like this. And then when it all turns sour, you can't just erase those. May 30, 2010, it was written on my journal "Today he finally told me he loves me. I feel like I'm flying, diary!"

Sometimes when I'm driving alone, I get these random memories of me and him. Then I also remember how much he screwed me over. So many lies. Just so many of them. I'm happy that he doesn't cross my mind as often as he used to. I hardly even think about him anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever cross his mind too. Sometimes I'm even tempted to add him back on Facebook. But as soon as I think about clicking the "add friend" button, I say to myself, "He's not worth your friendship. Forget about him," and I stop right there and close the window. I don't hate him. I've forgiven him. I just don't want to ever think of him again.

Flipped

2011-05-28T02:26:00.002+08:00

Back when I was in college, I knew a girl named Em who was a butch lesbian. Her girlfriend and I stayed at the same dorm and I seldom saw her (Em) staying over. I knew back then that they had an active sex life because people saw them in the shower room together, like in one stall, and people saw Em sneaking into her gf's room in the middle of the night, etc. It was too obvious. Anyway, their relationship lasted for years.

A while ago, I was in the elevator on my way up to the office when I saw a familiar face. Yep. It was Em. Only, she looked different. Her short hair was now long and wavy. And her baggy jeans were replaced by a crisp pencil skirt. Her Chucks were replaced by pointy stillettos. Needless to say, I really got surprised!

She recognized me and all I could say was “Oh my god. Wow!” So much has changed! She told me that she’s now STRAIGHT and that she’s actually getting married! She’s been with her fiance for about two years now.

I wasn’t able to stay and chat because I reached my stop, but I really wanted to. I wanted to ask her what made her flip. Maybe when she got a taste of straight sex, she got an epiphany or something. LOL! Hmm...

What to Know When You're 25-ish

2011-05-26T01:49:00.002+08:00

When you’re 25-ish, you’re old enough to know what kind of music you love, regardless of what your last boyfriend or roommate always used to play. You know how to walk in heels, how to tie a necktie, how to give a good toast at a wedding and how to make something for dinner.

Your life can look a lot of different ways when you’re 25: single, dating, engaged, married. You are working in dream jobs, pay-the-bills jobs and downright horrible jobs. You are young enough to believe that anything is possible, and you are old enough to make that belief a reality.

In celebration of my current struggle with this little thing called quarter-life crisis, here's an article I want to share about the things really worth caring about in your 20's. =)

Welcome to Your Quarter-Life Crisis

2011-05-26T01:16:00.003+08:00

Fuck yeah, I'm 24 and independent!... Now what?

Ever feel like you're doing the same shit everyday? Don't know where you're going or where you wanna be exactly? Struggling with the same shit you struggled with yesterday and coming to the same resolve?

The thing about being in your mid-twenties is that you come to a point wherein you want to do a shitload of things, but the problem is you don't know what exactly it is that you want to do or where and when to start.

In my case, I want to excel in my current career in the corporate world. But at the same time, I have entertained thoughts about being a diplomat or being an educator. That is why it's freakin' hard for me to decide what course to take for my Masters degree. I mean, I know I want to go to grad school, but the thing is, I don't exactly know yet what I really really wanna do. You know what I mean? Sigh.

I've always seen myself as a corporate bitch in her own office, being known as some sort of Dragon Lady who everyone's so scared of yet receives mad respect at the same time (kinda like Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada). But then I also see myself living in a different country, being a diplomat, looking into foreign affairs and being socially active. And then I also see myself as a professor in a good university, who every student loves and is known as "the cool prof". lol. Ugh.

Darn this. At this point, I'm still so unsure of what to do. I mean, I'm sure I wanna do all these things but then again at the same time I'm not? I'm weird. Aaaagh! Stupid quarter-life crisis!

Gun Show!

2011-05-25T06:46:00.002+08:00

So I did another weigh-in today with le nutritionist, and get this, I’ve gained a total of 13 pounds of muscle since I started working out! Oh yeah, I definitely got them guns now. Want tickets to my gunshow?

This only goes to show that hard work and dedication pay off really good. I honestly did not think I’d get awesome results!

The only downside to this is that my boobs have been reduced to almost flat muscular titties. Lol jk. I’m really working hard to avoid looking like those beefed up girls. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend in the process. Haha!

Just Friends

2011-05-19T21:47:00.003+08:00

One of my oldest and very good friends just texted me that he misses me. I haven’t seen him in three years and I was surprised he texted me just now with a simple “I miss you."

I met him when I was 17. He’s 4 years older than me. He was 21 at the time we met. I was a freshman, he was a senior and we were part of the same confraternity. He was one of the brightest in his batch, an Applied Mathematics major. We became instant friends and our friendship bloomed over the years. I found myself falling for him, but I figured he didn’t feel the same and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship so I kept my feelings to myself.

During college graduation, he confessed that he’s always had feelings for me. Even from the first time we met. However, I was already dating someone else at the time. I was quite shocked to learn that he also had feelings for me. I told him that I too felt the same before, but I was already in love with someone else at the time, so we resorted to just keep the friendship as it is. That was three years ago.

We somehow lost connection after that. I guess he backed off after he learned that I was already seeing someone. Then, one day, I was watching When Harry Met Sally on HBO when I got a random text from him saying, “I’m watching When Harry Met Sally right now. It’s our movie.” I remember smiling.

I’ve known him for seven years. I’m 24 now, he’s 28. We’re both mature adults. We’re not college kids anymore. Somehow I still feel, like it’s a woman’s instinct, that he still thinks about me from time to time, hence the random text messages. Even though we told each other years ago that we could have been something together, I feel like it won't ever be the same. People change. He and I can never really be. We'll always be just friends.

We Beat the Navy!

2011-05-19T18:06:00.002+08:00

As you may or may not have heard, the USS Carl Vinson (you know, that navy warship that dumped Osama Bin Laden’s body in the sea) is here in Manila for the week.

Most people didn’t like it. Some of them saw it as an act of US aggression and disregard for the sovereignty of the Philippines. I say it’s bullshit. Psh. Some people easily get their panties in a bunch. They’re just here for a pitstop. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the US is tryna be aggressive and people are afraid that it might attract terrorist attacks in the country. LOL. Paranoid much?

As for me and my touch rugby team mates, we saw it as an opportunity to play with them! Hellz yeah, we played touch rugby against them sailors!

One navy girl named Savannah, I was really aggressive towards her during the game. I mean, I really tackled the hell out of her (never mind it being touch rugby and all lol) and I completely did not get fazed by her size (she was twice the size of me). And guess what, we won against them! At the end of the game, she came up to me and gave me this navy patch thingy. So sweet! =) And yeah, sorry for my chipped manicure. Haha!

During the awarding session, the navy boys gave the team a commemorative paddle. So cute!

A US navy warship doesnt come here often and I definitely took the chance to play against some of them. And even though they were big muscular girls, I still cant believe we won against them! Hahaha!

Surprise Beach Party with the Girls

2011-05-18T00:09:00.004+08:00

When I was at the airport, I was surprised to bump into one of my girlfriends Ronanne and her boyfriend Carl. They were going to Boracay but we were on different flights. We agreed to meet each other and hang out once we're in Boracay. We were supposed to just sit at the beach, have a few beers, catch up, and sleep. Instead, we had an all out party at Club Paraw with some of our other girlfriends that we met there by surprise too!

It's always fun to randomly bump into some of your girlfriends on one of your vacations. We all had no idea that we were all going to Boracay on the same week. We don't often see each other while we're in Manila, that's why we went all out while we were in the island. What a night! =)

I love my parents!

2011-05-17T23:29:00.001+08:00

I'm so happy I have such a loving and wonderful relationship with my parents.

My dad is the funniest, kindest, most gentle, most hardworking, coolest, greatest dad in the world. My mom is the best, most patient, most loving, most strong-willed, most beautiful mother in the world.

Even though they're not the typical parents (my dad is the passive one while my mom is the disciplinarian/Dragon Lady), I am unbelievably lucky I was born into this family. Ah! I am just so so lucky!

I love my mommy and daddykins forever and ever! I can't put into words how much I love my parents. I love my family! I just can't say it enough! I love you, mom and dad!

Summer!!!

2011-05-17T22:08:00.007+08:00

So summer's almost ending in this little island I call home, and it's almost time for the rainy monsoon season. It's a good thing I ended my summer with a bang!

I just got back from the island of Boracay. It was soooo fun! We went there for our annual international beach rugby tournament. We managed to end up in second place this year (compared to last year's sixth place) so it was definitely an improvement on our part! I had so much fun. We played rugby, I went diving, we partied, we ate a lot and most importantly, I bonded with my team mates. =)

That's me with the cap, running for the baton (for the Sprint Queen portion of the competition. I was able to make it to the final round but I lost to an Australian chick).

The tournament gave me opportunities to meet some of the old friends I met during the previous international tournys. Here we are (I'm fifth from right) with team Canada (red shorts).

Beach Touch is absolutely one of my favorite summer sports! Well, I'm sorta biased because I've been playing Touch Rugby for five years haha! That's me in the number 17 jersey on the left.

And I put my diving license to good use by going scuba diving right after the tournament ended. Joe was so jealous of me and I kept rubbing it in his face. That's what he got for not coming with me hahaha!

Of course, a beach getaway wouldn't be complete without a night of hardcore partying (as seen by the intensity of my duckface and concentration on dancing LOL). A lot of my team mates got smashed and even my coach got crazy drunk, it was so fun!

And of course, a beach getaway wouldn't be complete without TONS OF CAMWHORE MOMENTS! I couldn't stop taking pictures! Hahaha! Vanity!

Aaaah! It was so awesome. I really enjoyed it. Of course, it would've been much much better if my boyfriend was there with me, or my sisters, but it's okay. We can always go away on weekends some other time. =) I'm really happy I got to end summer with a blast!

For more pictures, check out my photoblog at didilomo.tumblr.com

I just can't NOT post this.

2011-05-11T13:08:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I'm Officially Fat

2011-05-10T23:34:00.005+08:00

I had a realization today. I'm officially fat. =( After I took a shower today, I was so excited to try on my sexy pencil skirt to work to show off my curves. As I zipped my skirt on, I noticed that I was bulging in all the wrong places and I had difficulty breathing. For the first time in my life, I saw rolls (bilbil) on my sides. Today's such a sad, sad day...

I mean, yeah, I want to gain weight. And ever since I started working out, I have gained 10 pounds already (10 more pounds to go to reach my goal weight!). But the thing is, I wanna be lean. I wanna be muscular... which is already happening (I can finally give you tickets to my gun show!) The only problem is, I dont want any unwanted fats in my fucking tummy! Waaaah!

I want abs. :( I told my trainer about this today during our session, that my once flat and sexy tummy is now replaced by a disgusting wobbling mass of fat. She said it's because I eat 6 meals a day (as compared to my 2 meals a day back when I wasn't working out) but that it wont be a problem. She said, "people really have to gain in order to cut," I dont know what the hell that means but she said we're going to work on the abs next so hopefully I'ma get them Gwen Stefani abs!

I was about to leave the gym (wearing my office clothes again) when my trainer stopped me. "You know, since you're gaining weight and muscle and all, you might want to consider buying new clothes. You will see rolls of fat on your sides if you keep wearing your old smaller clothes."

Now why the hell did I not think of that? lol

The smarter the woman, the harder it is for her to find true love.

2011-05-09T13:31:00.005+08:00

Ever wonder what the hell is up with girls who have it all (beauty and brains) and why things don't always work out for them? Like, let's say, dating?

I read a quote years ago that said, "The smarter the woman, the harder it is for her to find true love." And I always used to say, "Maybe that's why I'm still single. It's because I'm a fucking genius!" LOL! Nah, I kid, I kid. For the longest time, I was the "serial dater" among my group of friends. I was always "the single girl with lots of dates in her calendar". I mean, sure I've had long-term relationships but in the end they just didnt work out. It's either because they weren't right for me all along, or it was just the wrong time for me to be in a relationship.

Now that I'm not "the single one" among my group of friends anymore, all eyes turned to one of my girl friends Ob. She's smart, she's pretty, she's super sexy, she's a successful woman who is well-traveled and cultured and we went to college together and she was one of the top students of our class... yet she can't seem to find a good man for her. She's the right blend of flirt and sass and she somehow manages to sleep with hot Brazilian models everytime we go out clubbing, but she told me "I want somebody. Not just anybody. For a while. And then longer." She doesn't have problems meeting men. She's now the newly crowned "serial dater" of the group. But in the end, she wants a real man. Not just for one night.

I think the conclusion is that educated women just don't want to settle. That's why things don't always work out. I guess you could say most, if not some, educated women are too high maintenance. lol. They are constantly trying to fill that void that they see every so often.

Movie Weekend

2011-05-08T22:11:00.003+08:00

Ugh. It's been raining all day. I woke up at 7am to go to church, it was raining. I went back to sleep at 10am, it was raining. I woke up at 2pm to have late lunch, it was still raining. I went out to watch a movie with my sisters at 6pm, it was still raining. It's 10pm now, and yep, you got it. It's still raining.

As you know, I'm not a big fan of the rain. I only like it when I'm sleeping because it's such a good bed weather, but when I'm awake, the gloominess makes me all randomly emo, it sucks. Meh.

Anyway, this weekend I watched two films. Yesterday I watched Thor with Joe. Can I just say, "Hubba, hubba, Chris Hemsworth!" and yes, the movie was awesome too. Lol.

My mom recommended it to me because after she watched it with my sisters a couple days ago, she instantly fell in love with him. Haha! So I told my boyfriend to watch it with me and so we did. I really enjoyed it. I also like the fact that Jeremy Renner did an uncredited cameo as Hawkeye. Joe said that Thor wouldnt be as interesting of Thor wasnt part of the whole Avengers arc. I cant wait for the Avengers film!

After watching Thor, Joe and I went to have steak at Highlands. I wasnt able to see him in like a week prior to our movie date, but I'm happy I saw him yesterday. He's my very own personal Thor. I mean, he's already rockin' the Thor beard and the Thor manboobs. Hahaha!

Today, my sisters and I went to see Water for Elephants. I wasnt as enthusiatic about this film as I was with Thor, but when we saw it, it was such a beautiful film that I ended up crying in some parts (I'm such a girl), especially the scenes with Rosie the elephant.

Rob Pattinson was really good in this film. I think the whole Twilight thing just put him in a bad light because he's really a good actor. I liked him in Remember Me as well. It's a beautiful film. Go watch it.

Since our mom's in Davao, we werent able to hang out with her today, which is Mothers Day, which kind of sucks, so my sisters and I just decided to hang out together. I had a fun day with the sister brats, even though it was raining the whole day. I just hope the rain would stop tomorrow.

Random James Franco Appreciation Post

2011-05-05T18:57:00.002+08:00

Thank you.

Improvements

2011-05-04T14:45:00.002+08:00

If you have been following my blog since the very beginning, you know that one of my biggest insecurities is being skinny. Yep, as crazy as it may sound, I detest being skinny and people call me insane for wanting to gain weight when most girls my age are trying their best to lose pounds. Trust me, being called “Olive Oyl” and “Skeletor” in high school gave me mad insecurities.

I’m proud to announce that after three weeks at the gym, I’ve successfully gained ten pounds of muscle! I started as 100lbs flat and yesterday, I did a weigh-in with my nutritionist and I found out I’m 110lbs already! And its muscle, not fat! Wooh!

Of course gaining weight is serious business for me. I hired a nutritionist as well as a personal trainer and I go to the gym three times a week doing strength training by lifting weights and refraining from doing too much cardio. Best decision I’ve made so far. Sure, it’s not cheap, but its worth every penny.

My goal is to be 120lbs by June. I can do this. I’m one step closer to having Jessica Biel’s body. No more Miss Skinny Girl.

*Aaaand no, I don't wanna look like that girl in the picture above. Hahaha! I just posted it there for emphasis that there are improvements in my bodeh. =)

Why do I have dreams like this?

2011-05-04T00:40:00.002+08:00

So I had this weird dream that I got a boob job and it was the worst boob job ever. I went to this drugstore to buy medicine then this gay guy came up to me and was like, “Would you like to try our new product? It’s called Insta-Boobs” and I was like yeah sure, and then he proceeded to stick a needle on the side of my boobs. It was OK at first. I was feeling a little “bigger” in my frontal area, but then after a while, I felt my boobs and it felt like rocks, not only that, there were ridges in my breasts! I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Then all of a sudden, I was a burlesque dancer. In my dream, my sorority sister Mitz was a burlesque dancer too and we performed private shows together. Our room had a mini stage and a giant Martini glass (like the one Dita Von Teese uses) as well as a stripper pole in the middle of the room. Mitz and I were practicing our sexy routine together when suddenly the doorbell rang. “Our first client!” Mitz said. She went to open the door and there stood a woman.

Our client was a lesbian. A butch one with a mullet. When she saw me, she licked her lips and said, “Mmhmm… Start dancing.”

Then I woke up. Thank God. I was panting.

1000 Degrees

2011-05-02T15:37:00.003+08:00

So I almost died from heat stroke today. LOL. Just kidding. But yeah I definitely felt like it! I was waiting for a cab to work and even though I was standing in the shade, I could still feel the heat. The wind was blowing hot air and it's NOT FUNNY! It seriously feels like an oven out there today! And what's worse, the cab I rode to work today was old and its A/C was a fail, I didnt feel air coming out of it and my pits were soaking wet already by the time I got to the office. Hahaha! Oh well, shit happens. lol. Thank goodness for centralized air conditioning at the office.

Ugh. I would KILL to be at the beach today. But then again, I have two weeks left till my beach getaway in Boracay! So I'll be gone for like 5 days, two days will be for the touch rugby tournament and the rest of the vacation will be spent partying, getting drunk, diving, parasailing, wakeboarding, aaaand wind surfing! I really need this SO bad!

I shower at least three times a day nowadays. Yeah, it's just THAT bad. Ugh! But I guess being sunny all day is much better than having rain 24/7. I am so not looking forward to the rainy season. I'm not kidding.

I am a Certified Diver now!

2011-04-25T18:24:00.006+08:00

I just got back from my diving trip with Joe in Batangas. :) I must say it was probably one of the best long weekends I've ever had. We stayed at Crystal Blue Resort in Anilao, Batangas. It was a nice hotel, good food, good rooms and errthang. The best part of it was the diving part. lol.

I took the three day diving certification course and it went really smoothly. Joe's a rescue diver and he's pretty awesome and I figured I should start developing a new hobby so we could do something fun together. :) After open water diving training and taking the final exam, I passed with flying colors after three days!

We immediately went diving in different parts of Batangas. We went to Twin Rocks, The Cathedral, the Underwater Casino, etc. All in all, we did like 16 dives. The deepest dive I did was 100 ft. Glenn, the dive master, said that I did pretty awesome because I just got certified the day before and I was already doing the deep dives as well as drift diving (diving with the current). During one of those dives, lol, my SPG (submersible pressure gauge) did not work and I didnt realize it! On my gauge it said I still had like 200 bar of air left. We were underwater for like 45 minutes and in reality, my oxygen was almost down to 50 bar! It was a good thing Glenn checked my gauge before resurfacing. Otherwise, I would've lost air down there and not realize it.

I saw huge fishes, baracudas, trigger fish, angel fish, a small manta ray, some tiny seahorses, I saw Nemo, and on my last dive, I saw a super cute turtle! So fun! I'm so glad I went on this trip. Can't wait for our next diving adventure. Subic, perhaps? I bet it's fun to check out those sunken Japanese shipwrecks from the war.

So I'm officially a certified diver now according to PADI. Yay!

Teenagers These Days

2011-04-18T21:58:00.002+08:00

Why do some teenagers think that being stoned makes them look cool? I just saw a video on my dashboard of kids being high. Yes, kids as in around 15-16 year old teenagers. I guess some people would say, “Oh they’re just being teenagers,” but still… it’s not cool. It’s sad. When I was 14-15, I was busy being a senior girl scout, for crying out loud!

And what the fuck is up with 14 year old girls doing Topless Tuesdays?! Seriously? That is some messed up desperate search for attention right there. Girl, your boobs aren’t even developed yet! Sigh. You’re giving pedophiles a reason to exist, young lady. Damn, I so wish you could read this.

I know I sound like a fucking mom right now, but I’m just scared for the future. I’m scared that the world will be run by morons. Kinda like that movie “Idiocracy”. Lol

You know what's awesome?

2011-04-18T21:55:00.001+08:00

It’s when you have the house all to yourself, you don’t give a rat’s ass about the neighbors, you play heavy metal on full blast, and you do a mean air guitar solo (complete with head banging and squirming on the floor) going crazy all over your living room.

Aaaah. It’s so fun to let loose!

Smoking Weed Gave Me Superpowers

2011-04-13T13:45:00.000+08:00

So I had this dream that I was smoking weed in my room and my sisters caught me. They were like, “A-ha! We’re telling mom!” And I was like, “No! No! Here, smoke with me. That’s what sisters are for,” and they were like, “Sure.” Lol

We smoked weed in my room, then all of a sudden there was a strange tingling sensation in our bodies. Soon after, we discovered that the weed magically gave us superpowers!

A few minutes after our discovery, we heard sirens outside and turns out, the Secret Service found out about our secret and decided to capture us. My sisters and I flew through the cieling, breaking it. The Secret Service kept chasing us, and for some reason we decided to stop flying and just steal a cab as a getaway car (wtf?) My sister stopped a taxi and pulled off the door like it was nothing and pulled out the cab driver and threw him on the curb. So we got in and a car chase ensued.

Then I woke up. Wow. The power of weed.

In choosing between science & faith, Im confused about how Adam and Eve were the first humans, yet at some point, there were cavemen too.

2011-04-07T17:56:00.002+08:00

And yeah, what about the dinosaurs? I'm a Catholic Christian but sometimes I just have all these questions in my head.

I was looking it up and found this:

Evolution may take place in small ways. But I find myself wondering why it is that we have known dogs for at least four thousand years, but they have not changed at all? Why did dogs not grow fingers when man started feeding them all the time? Why did dogs not evolve to talk? They have spent the last four thousand years barking to and at us? Seems to me that if evolution would ever take place, it would surly take place with dogs since man has changed everything a dog knew as a structured wild life.
In the two thousand years of history since the crucifixion of Christ, no animals has evolved!.. So im to believe that evolution stopped when man started keeping notes?
Evolution never happened, Its just another way to further educate a mass society to trust and believe everything they are told. "to have total control over a population, you must first control what they think! To control what they think, you must first control what they are told, to control what they are told, you use people the population trust."

But maybe this is a biased answer from a Christian (?). I dunno...

I have soooo many questions... mostly about religion. But there's nothing wrong with being curious, no?

I HATE stupid ignorant mean people.

2011-04-06T18:16:00.002+08:00

I was watching a recap of American Idol and I loved James Durbin’s performance. He’s so inspiring. He has Tourette’s Syndrome and he says that every time he sings, he feels like “it (Tourette’s) just all goes away.” Bless his heart.

I remember when I was about 16 or 17, I was with my youth group in church and we were doing an outreach program for orphaned kids. One kid there couldn’t stop blinking his eyes and twitching his face. He had Tourette’s. And I saw these other girls (from my same youth group) mocking him, mimicking him, and laughing at him. And to think they were part of my youth group. Stupid bitches. So mean. Ugh.

So I just joined a gym...

2011-04-06T17:44:00.003+08:00

I’m pretty stoked about it. This is one way to start being healthy. I’m sick of being skinny. People tell me I’m crazy to think I want to gain weight and be 20 pounds heavier (I’m currently 105lbs). They look at me like I’m insane, and they’re like “people would kill to be 105lbs!” well, to each their own right?

I don’t feel beautiful with my pre-baby Nicole Richie body. I HATE being skinny. I don’t wanna have skinny arms. I don’t wanna have skinny legs. Sure I get told, “damn, you’re so skinny!” I don’t find that as a compliment. I joined a gym to gain weight. Hello, Jessica Biel body. Gonna get me some guns and a toned bodeh.

Something I Want

2011-04-04T22:14:00.002+08:00

There are things in this world that can never be ours just because of these simple truths:

They’re bad for us.
They already belong to someone else.
We already lost the opportunity to claim them as our own.
They’re just not meant to be ours.

If I’m caught up with wanting something I clearly can’t have, I may trade in all my cards just to get that. But in the end I’ll just learn that it’s something that I don’t really need after all. Kinda like being in a relationship.

To Spank or Not to Spank?

2011-03-30T22:23:00.004+08:00

So a new bill has just been passed in the Philippines congress. It's called the "Anti-Spanking Bill".

I’m sure I’m going to get a lot of flack for this, but I’m actually pro-spanking. I do not agree with this bill at all. Growing up, my mom spanked me and my sisters to discipline us and we turned out pretty fine.

The said bill promotes “positive and non-violent forms of disciplining children.” Um, first of all, there’s a difference between abuse and discipline. How will the children know of the consequences of their wrong actions if they won’t be punished? I can understand what they are trying to achieve here, but imagine, if a child hurts someone else and all they get is a loud mouthed parent or being “sent to a corner”, they wont be scared anymore of doing the wrong thing because they know that this will be the only consequence they’ll get.

I dont know about ya’ll but this is a stupid bill, in my opinion. If and when I do have a kid in the future, I’ll raise him the old school way. And that means spanking as a form of discipline.

F'ing Technology!

2011-03-28T21:16:00.002+08:00

Well, shit. I lost weight again. My mom told me earlier, “Dimple, you’re losing weight,” and my coworker told me last Friday that I look like I’ve lost a few pounds. Argh!

If there’s one thing in the world I REALLY hate, it’s losing weight. I know people would probably think I’m insane for thinking this but it’s the truth. I fucking hate losing weight. Screw this fast metabolism shit! I’m 5’4” and I used to weigh 110 lbs. I just lost 5 pounds. Damnit!!!

Mom said, “it’s all the internet's fault!” And it’s true. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t drink water because of the internet. I can’t do anything in life unless I’ve finished reading each and every blog post on my dashboard, read every status update on Facebook, and browsed through every tweet on Twitter. Ugh! I’m constantly glued to my blackberry/laptop/iPod because of this shit. Damn. I'm an internet addict... Fucking technology is taking its toll on my weight! Lol

Wow (Life After High School)

2011-03-25T23:29:00.001+08:00

My high school best friend’s kid just graduated from kindergarten. This coming school year, he’s going to be in first grade. It seems like only yesterday, my best friend and I were called to the principal’s office for laughing way too loud in Science class. And now, her son’s finally a grade-schooler! Imagine that! Time flies by so damn fast…

It’s been years since I graduated from high school, but I still keep in touch with my high school friends. Most of them are married and with kids now. I, on the other hand, am still single and still childless. Part of me is jealous of them for having kids and being married and all, but the other half of me is happy being the independent single woman that I am. I know I will eventually get married and have kids.

But for now, I’ll be Miss Thang, Miss Independent Woman.

You know you're good friends when...

2011-03-25T21:55:00.001+08:00

... he makes you smell his fingers straight from his smelly ass belly button.

Earlier, I was working on my laptop, doing my thang when my buddy Aaron came to my workstation and told me, "Hey, Nel's (a coworker) new perfume smells good. Here, sniff." He put his wrist on my nose for me to smell it. I didn't smell anything, but I was so engrossed in my shit that I just mumbled a "yeah sure".

"You didn't smell it. Here, smell my finger," he said. I was like, fine. He put his finger right under my nose and I took a deep sniff. Big. Fucking. Mistake. It smelled like rotten cheese. Turns out, he put his finger on his belly button and I smelled his belly button lint. Fucking asshole. He almost died laughing. I was pissed, but I was laughing too. I wasn't that pissed. It was actually funny. But it was fucking sick, I'm not even kidding. AARON, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU'RE A SICK BASTARD!

Wait till I make him smell my finger straight from my anus. Let's see how he'll take it.

Happiness and Pride

2011-03-23T22:02:00.002+08:00

I feel so happy and proud of myself right now. For some, it may not be much, but I feel happy because I just donated money to Japan. :)

I got an email from work about donating to Japan. The twin tragedies in Japan has left their country and citizens in need of help. As the countries of the world reach out and give aid, I’m happy that I, too, can be a part of the recovery effort.

A certain amount of money will be deducted from my April payroll and will be given to IBM Japan, where their IBM Club will use the collected money to help fellow IBMers as well as non-IBMers get back on their feet and start anew.

I dunno. I just feel so happy that even though I didnt donate a million bucks, I know that in some way, my donation will be able to help our brothers and sisters in Japan.

Hairy or Silky Smooth?

2011-03-22T23:59:00.002+08:00

LMAO! Earlier today, I was talking to someone about art students and about how some (not all) of them are weird.

I know an artsy girl who’s really pretty, but she has these ridiculously thick armpit hair and it’s kind of a shame because she’s really attractive, but everytime she raises her arms, you can’t help but go “WHOA!” Hahaha! I’m so mean, but I can’t help but laugh and feel sorry for her at the same time. She says it’s “beautiful and natural”, words of a weird artsy hippie person, not mine. She says she wants to bring back the 1970’s Parisian Girl Chic. I told her it’s not gonna work.

I don’t know why there are girls out there who think this way. Personally, I think it’s unhygeinic and gross. I can’t bear to have hairy armpits. I would probably die. Imagine the smell on that one too, eh?

Do you think hairy armpits on girls are sexy?

Earth Hour

2011-03-22T22:20:00.008+08:00

Okay guys, I noticed that most of my posts are random and most of them are some drama bullshit from the train wreck called my lovelife, so now I’m going to write something worthwhile for a change.

It’s obvious that the planet is slowly deteriorating. By doing a simple thing (like turning off your lights for an hour or more), we can make a difference.

Get into the habit. Unplug your phone charger when your phone is fully-charged.
Drive less. Walk, ride your bike, use public transport, or try car pooling.
Turn off your computer at night… both at home and at work.
If you really need to travel by plane, choose an airline that gives you the option to offset your carbon footprint.
Buy energy efficient appliances. They save power and reduce bills.

Help us go beyond the hour. With your help, our solution for an eco-friendly lifestyle and a sustainable planet can reach more people.

Date to remember: March 26, 2011. 8:30 PM (Turn off your lights and go candlelight! It’s romantic!)

Break

2011-03-21T01:23:00.003+08:00

I think I’m gonna take a break from everything for now. The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster ride for me and it’s September 2010 all over again. I’m sick of crying, I’m sick of reminiscing, I’m sick of him… yet at the same I miss him… I don’t understand myself.

A friend of mine said, “maybe the reason why you both can't forget each other is because you’re really meant for each other. It’s like destiny, soulmate, if you believe in that shit.” I don’t know what to believe. I don't think that's it... All I know is that everytime he comes back to my life, I feel this sudden happiness but then it’s immediately followed by sudden pain and sadness.

Argh! I need a break from him, I need a break from life!

Dear You

2011-03-18T17:38:00.004+08:00

As stupid as this sounds, you were perfect for me. Everytime we spoke was another fairy tale day in my awful reality. I loved all your silly questions, and how you wanted to know everything about me. I loved how you posted your Facebook status as something I said, or some strange theory we came up with together. I loved how we would just stare at each other saying nothing... just knowing that we were both there in that moment made us happy, and i loved the fact that you loved me.

But, things came spiraling down. You decided you couldn’t give me what I wanted, even though I was perfectly happy with what we already had. You decided things were too serious, and that things weren’t the same. You broke my heart that day. You crushed my soul. I cried myself to sleep every night. I was miserable every god damn day. I truly was broken, because you completed me in some strange way. I needed to find someone who would like me like you did, and eventually I did.

I wonder if you still check up on me like I used to for you. I wonder if you’re happy for me that i moved on. I wonder if you question why you actually did that, like I still do. I wonder if you still think about me. I wonder if you actually meant what you said.

I hope you still think of me. And I hope you never move on. I hope you’re just as crushed as I was. And I hope your life sucks just as much as it did when you left.

Sincerely,

Curiosity Killed the Cat

2011-03-16T17:43:00.002+08:00

And that cat was me. Now I'm dead. Fuck my life.

I hate it sometimes when I'm so nosy, I find shit that hurt me. Why am I like this? Why do I keep wanting to find out what's up with people from the past? Ever since the beginning, I kinda always knew I had competition. And I kind of always knew I couldn't compete with that person. FUCK! Excuse my French. I'm so sorry. I'm just so hurt right now. And why? I don't even know. I'm so confused.

There's someone waiting for me, and I can't even give him my time of the day because of you. Fuck you. You broke my heart and turned it into mush and now I don't even know if I can love someone as much as I did for you. I don't even know if I'm capable of loving again. You shattered me. You really did.

It's all your fault. Why did you have to come back? I was doing so well. SO DAMN WELL. And now that you're back, you triggered this curiosity in me, only for me to end up getting hurt all over again. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. Let me be. Don't talk to me. Please. Just let me go already.

Please Be Careful

2011-03-14T14:11:00.002+08:00

Just a reminder to my followers: guys, I know sex is awesome (and I know that if only people could do it 24/7, they would coz it’s THAT awesome) but PLEASE please please be careful. Wear protection. Always.

A family friend is in the hospital right now for syphillis, a flesh-eating sexually transmitted virus. The bacteria are literally eating away her vagina, and the doctors are putting meat down there so the virus would eat that instead of her flesh.

Pretty fucking nasty, right? Thought so. Just so you know, I'm not sure if the meat thing is a joke or not (lol) coz it was just told to us by another family friend. I dont know if she was serious about it or just exaggerated, but you know... Just… Be smart.

Bottom line is: Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.

This is not a joke anymore

2011-03-14T14:08:00.001+08:00

It’s obvious that the Earth is not what it used to be. Let’s all do our part in taking care of our planet. Natural disasters are happening more often now. We can’t just ignore this…

My relatives in Japan are okay now. They just got their power back. Thank goodness Japan is well-prepared and has amazing engineering to get past this. But still, casualties cannot be avoided and my heart goes out to the victims and their families.

Things are okay here in the Islands. There was a tsunami but not as intense as in Japan’s and no casualties were reported. But I doubt that if anything catastrophic happens here in the Phils, we won’t be able to survive. We’re not as advanced as Japan. We’re not as well prepared. We can only pray… Things like this should be taken seriously…